Total pages in book: 188
Estimated words: 179812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 899(@200wpm)___ 719(@250wpm)___ 599(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 179812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 899(@200wpm)___ 719(@250wpm)___ 599(@300wpm)
She watches me for a beat and squeezes my hand back. “Fine. Let’s go.”
We resume walking then and finally come upon the open space with a giant dining table. They’re all gathered around it and if I didn’t already know they were a close-knit family, I’d know it now: Conrad, sitting at the head, with Wyn on his left side. Followed by Callie and then Reed. There’s a highchair right next to Reed, probably for Halo who must be down for the night. And a little booster seat next to the highchair for little Flora, who must also be sleeping. I don’t see Stellan or Isadora and wonder where they are for a second, and if they’re running late. But all of that gets pushed aside when I see the chair at the foot of the table with a place setting that’s empty. I know for a fact that this one belongs to him.
But he isn’t here.
I’m sure Callie told everyone I’d be here shortly, and maybe he didn’t want to see me. And he didn’t want to see me so much that he decided to not be here when I know for a fact he would be otherwise. Because he never misses any get-togethers. His brothers may miss them here and there for whatever reason, but he always, always, makes time to show up.
And if I’m being honest with myself, I did have this thought in the back of my mind that I’d get to see him tonight. Just a glimpse and nothing else. Just to make sure… I don’t know what except that I wanted to see how he was doing. And I feel such loss at him not being here. I feel such pain, such loneliness that I have to blink a few times to clear my vision. I know I’m being stupid right now. It’ll probably be easier without him. I should be thankful for this small mercy. I should also be thankful that despite hating me for what I did, he chose to keep my secret to himself.
So I should stop worrying about him and start worrying about why I came here. Callie sounded confused on the phone when I mentioned that what I’m here to talk about involves her brothers as well. She probably expects something drastic, but I don’t think even she can guess what exactly it is that I’m here to say.
Even so, like the most amazing friend she is, she springs up from her seat as soon as she sees me and rushes over. Like Tempest, she gives me a tight hug, meant to reassure me. Then it’s Wyn’s turn, who also rushes over to wrap her arms around me, and I swear it takes everything in me to hold on.
So it’s a good thing that when the welcome is over, Conrad speaks in a calm but authoritative tone. “Let’s take it to the living room.”
His command is followed by the screeching of chairs and rustling of people springing up from their seats. Then everyone is shuffling out and walking down the hallway to the living room. They all grab a seat where they can, with Callie herding me toward an armchair in the corner. She gently motions me to sit and then takes a seat on the arm. Tempest stands right beside me and Wyn stands right beside her in a show of solidarity. They didn’t need to do that, but I’m thankful they did.
And I guess there’s nothing else to do but to speak.
“I’m…” I begin, running my hands up and down my shorts and my thighs and deciding to keep my eyes firmly planted on the floor. I don’t think I’d be able to take it if I had to look at their faces while I tell them the truth. I need to get everything out first, make my case for Snow, and only then will I be able to face it, their judgement or hatred or whatever it is their reaction is. “First, I know this is weird. Me coming over like this. So I’m sorry… about all the weirdness and stuff.” I lick my lips, staring at their shoes. “And second, I’ve imagined this moment a hundred times in my head. I’ve imagined coming over to your house and… talking to you all. Telling you this story…”
I shake my head and keep wiping my sweaty hands up and down my thighs. Tempest squeezes my shoulder in encouragement, and I take a deep breath. “I guess for you to understand everything, I have to start at the beginning. When my mother was married to my father, she had an affair with another man. My dad found out about it”—I clench my eyes shut—“through me, and left us. He divorced my mother and never looked back. I was five at the time. And then, a few months later, my mom married this man. For years, we lived in a small suburban town in Pennsylvania. My mother never really worked, but my stepdad did. He had odd jobs here and there. Until he started getting fired from them. For, uh, his drinking.”