Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 116759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 467(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 467(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
LILY
“Our next caller is Fran. Hi, Fran, how can we help?” January asked into the mic.
A girl’s voice filled our headphones, her accent much like Maddie’s. “Hi, ladies, thanks for having me on. Big fan. Never miss an episode. Jan, I love you. You’re hilarious, babe.”
“Thanks!” Jan beamed smugly. “Much appreciated.”
“Fran and Jan.” Maddie snorted.
Impatience rode me. “What’s the problem, Fran?” I insisted.
“Oh. Well. See, I like this guy, but he’s in my friend group. He likes me back but doesn’t want to jeopardize our friendship. But I don’t think I can just be friends with him anymore. What should I do?”
Was this a setup? I glowered at Jan and Maddie. They both knew what happened with Sebastian. With raised eyebrows of surprise, they shook their heads, nonverbally telling me this was a coincidence.
“You should cut him out of your life, Fran,” I advised. “Just snip, snip, snip, right out. Trust me. It’ll save you a lot of heartache.”
Maddie gaped at me.
“Isn’t that a bit brutal, sis?” Jan asked, eyes wide as if to say What the hell?
“Nope,” I replied dully. “If he doesn’t want to risk your friendship, he doesn’t feel the way you feel about him and you’re only going to end up getting hurt. If you stay in the friendship, you’re going to pine for more, lose out on opportunities with other guys, and get hurt watching him move on easily with other girls. Get out now while you can.”
Maddie glared at me. “That advice tasted strangely bitter.”
“Or wise,” I argued.
“Both. It was both.” Jan cut off our disagreement. “Fran, maybe you should talk to him again. Make sure he realizes how much you like him.”
“Don’t do that, Fran,” I sneered. “He’ll break your goddamn heart.”
“Lily Sawyer, everyone!” Maddie clapped sarcastically near her mic. “She came back from winter break as the Ice Queen.”
Guilt-riddled, but too stubborn to apologize, I pinched my lips together.
“Fran, are you there?”
“Uh, she hung up, ladies,” Kenny informed us from the editing booth.
“Well done,” Maddie huffed. “What the hell kind of advice was that, Lily?”
“Good advice.”
“I think it was more the delivery than the advice.” Jan cocked her head in thought. “Maybe it would be good for you if you talked about what’s going on. Give our listeners some insight into this strangely dislikable version of you and unburden yourself at the same time.”
Hurt drenched me at my sister’s words. She’d always been overprotective of me, but now that I was actually heartbroken, Jan treated me with impatient callousness. I wasn’t the even-tempered Lily she was used to. I was depressed, pissed off, and despairing that the ache in my chest over Sebastian would never go away.
There were moments I remembered our night together and wanted the floor to swallow me whole. The spanking. Riding him. This completely uninhibited self I’d tapped into with him. There was a man walking around in my city who had seen me at my most vulnerable and he was someone I’d never be with romantically. He didn’t … I didn’t want him to have that part of me. I felt … indignant and, aye, bitter, that it was him who’d experienced that side of me.
Mostly, though, I missed him.
Sebastian had clearly decided it was best we no longer be friends too.
He didn’t push his friendship on me when I created distance between us.
Our last text string was two weeks ago.
It was over.
And I had never been more miserable in my life. Mum had taken one look at me in the library and known. Now I’d been fielding constant texts and calls from her and Dad checking in, worried about me. I wouldn’t tell them what was wrong, which only worried them more.
Jan knew, though.
I’d told her.
And a little patience from a sister I’d been nothing but patient with my whole life would have been nice. “Okay. I’ll unburden myself. I’ve stood by your side through every drama you’ve either incited or participated in with patience and love. I’m sorry that for the first time in my life, I’m putting myself before you and what you need from me, but you can go screw yourself, my dearest wee sister.” I yanked off my headphones and threw them at the table as January gaped up at me in pale-faced shock.
“Lily!” Maddie called for me, but I ignored her too, slamming out of the recording room and marching past a wide-eyed Kenny.
For at least five minutes, I felt liberated by my outburst.
Then the guilt hit.
Because I knew I was pushing everyone away, cocooning myself in my fortress of solitude.
However, I couldn’t seem to stop.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
SEBASTIAN
When I came out of my shower, I found Harry lounging on my bed reading one of the books Lily had lent me.
“Mate, do you know this is filthy?” Harry muttered as he turned the page, seemingly engrossed.