Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 91363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Blue-eyed boy
Best at baseball
Bashful smile
Berry red lips
Be mine
I cringed on her behalf as I turned page after page. There was no big, brilliant, bearded, baritone, brooding best friend Ben anywhere in sight. I asked myself if I could ever love another like I loved Gabby after pining for her the way she had for Matt. The answer made me nauseous.
I was easy, comfortable, familiar, accepting, her teacher, her safe place, and the father of her child. But was I the man who made her heart skip a beat? Did her palms get sweaty when I walked into the room? How many sappy, ridiculous, yet romantic dreams about her future involved me as her husband?
She told me she loved me, and that the kiss in the stairwell changed everything. I wanted to believe her, but I wasn’t immune to insecurities.
Doing a double take, I caught her out of the corner of my eyes, shoulder resting on the doorframe, hands crossed over her chest. Once again, she caught me snooping in her personal things.
“I’ll never be him,” I said, closing the Bible and setting it next to the stack of folders and notepads from school.
She signed, “No. You’re not him. You’re more.”
“I don’t know, Gabbs.” I laughed, staring at the Bible. “There’s a lot of him in there. Years of him. I don’t know if there’s room for anyone to be more. Don’t get me wrong, I’m okay with loving you more. That would make your Grandma Bonnie so happy. But I can’t help but see him inked in the margins of your whole world and not feel like there’s no room for me.”
She reached for my face, and I shook my head.
“It’s fine, Gabby. You don’t have to make me feel better. I don’t know if you can. I’m just working on accepting it. Ya know? We’ll be fine. We’ll have a good life. We’ll laugh like we’ve always done. We’ll be there for each other. Raise a family and all that comes with that. I’m just …” I ran my fingers through my hair. “I guess I’m still young and stupid, and I want to be the muse for all your poems. I selfishly want my name to be in the margins of your books. But I’m not, and that’s fine. I’ll grow up and focus on more important things like our baby. But right now, I’m struggling to be the man you need instead of the boyfriend you didn’t want.”
She flinched, and that wasn’t my intention. In fact, it wasn’t my intention to tell her that I looked inside her Bible. But she caught me, and I couldn’t lie.
Before her tears escaped, she blotted the corners of her eyes while squeezing between my legs and her desk, resting her backside on the edge while I leaned back in her desk chair and laced my fingers behind my neck. She stared at me for the longest time, like I was a riddle she needed to solve. Then she grabbed a pen and notebook and started writing … and writing.
For the record, I wanted you first, but you were with Susie, and you told me we could only be friends. And that, Benjamin Ashford, was just how long it took me to get the nerve to ask you to be more than friends. You were my first crush long before that, and I want you to be my last. And because you’re so STUPID, you didn’t think to look at the beginning. Genesis Chapter 1.
I lifted my gaze from the paper to her straight face, then I opened her Bible to Genesis Chapter 1.
After the first three words “In the beginning,” she drew a caret symbol and inserted “there was Benjamin Ashford” with a heart behind my name.
Well, damn …
I scooted the chair back and got on my knees, holding her left hand with mine. She grinned as I took the pen and drew a heart on her ring finger, then I drew a circle around her finger connecting the heart—a temporary ring for a forever promise. When I looked up, she nodded a half dozen times.
There was no room in my mind or my heart for regret. Gabriella Grace Jacobson owned every inch. I lifted her shirt and drew a heart around her belly button. When I glanced up, Gabby rolled her eyes.
“Your mom said yes.” I kissed her belly.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
PETE TOWNSHEND, “LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR”
Gabby
“Where are we going?” I signed when Ben gave me a sidelong glance as he drove us in the wrong direction.
He took the morning off to take me to my OB appointment the week before our wedding, but he was supposed to take me home before going back to work.
Ben shrugged as he always did when he knew I said something but didn’t want to answer. We pulled onto the long drive where his boss lived, but instead of heading to the gray two-story farmhouse, he veered right where cars were parked around a trailer I hadn’t seen before. I recognized my mom’s car right away.