Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 91363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
I had none.
No willpower, and less than sixty seconds later, I had no clothes on my body, just naked Ben between my legs.
Why did you finally read my letters?
I had so many questions, and since Ben convinced me to skip school and he fetched me breakfast, I had all day to quiz him.
He sipped a bottle of orange juice, sitting in my desk chair, while I lounged in the bean bag chair I got from Sarah and Isaac for Christmas.
“I don’t want to tell you.”
I signed, “Why?”
He capped his juice. “Because I’m a stubborn asshole. And I honestly don’t know how long it would have taken me to open them had Tillie not opened them the day she cleaned my room.” He stared out the window.
Tillie knows!
I panicked because I didn’t want anyone telling my parents before I did.
“She won’t say anything.”
How do you know? That’s a big secret to keep. Where are the letters? The ultrasound picture? What if your mom finds them?
Ben stared at the notepad that I held up, and he twisted his lips for a few seconds, then he leaned to the side and pulled his wallet out of his jeans. “Some of the letters were damaged, and the rest are hidden.” He slid the ultrasound photo from his wallet. “But I have this.”
It melted my heart at first, then I set the notepad aside and rocked forward to pluck the taped-together photo from his fingers.
Ben cringed, scratching the back of his head. “About that …”
I narrowed my eyes.
“Tillie didn’t say you were pregnant. She just told me to read them. So I started to read them in order.” Ben shot me a look. “Do you recall what you wrote in your first letter?”
Pressing my lips together, I nodded slowly.
“So I ripped up the letters, but then I stopped when I noticed shreds of the photo. It took me forever to piece it back together. Then I read the letters that I hadn’t destroyed. And here I am.”
That’s not how I wanted him to find out. It left me crestfallen.
“Gabby.” He reached for my hand, but I plopped back into the bean bag chair before he touched me.
Were you ever going to read them?
His hesitation answered my question.
Were you going to sleep with her?
“Gabby.” His face tensed as he shook his head.
I hurled the notepad at him. “NO! Not Gabby! That’s not what you say. Oh my—” I cupped a hand over my mouth to muffle my sob.
He was going to have sex with her because we were over in his mind.
“I hated my life,” he said, stabbing his fingers into his hair. “I hated the pity. I hated the look on your face because you blamed yourself. I hated not knowing if I would ever live up to Matthew Cory in your mind.”
I couldn’t look at him. And I didn’t want to hear his excuses.
“Gabby, you taunted me. Had I opened the first letter from you when you sent it, I never would have opened the rest.”
“I was mad,” I signed.
He shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Ugh!” I hated that he got to speak his emotions without thinking them through. I had to stop, control myself, and write everything down.
He handed me the notepad, and I jerked it out of his hand.
I was mad! You knew there was a possibility that I could be pregnant but you still broke up with me.
He frowned. “It was a slim chance.”
It was a 100% chance. I’M PREGNANT!
He flinched.
Is that your method? Pulling out? How many other girls have you impregnated?
“None. I wasn’t planning on having sex with you. It just happened.”
You had no intention of coming here. You’re not really here for me. Intention is everything! Just go home.
I stood and shoved the notepad into his chest before opening the door.
“Intention is nothing.” He tossed the notepad onto my desk and shoved his feet into his sneakers. “Reality is everything.” He stopped at the door, peering down at me. “And here’s what is real. I’ve loved you for years. Something really shitty happened to me, and I’ve had a hard time accepting it. But you’re pregnant with our baby, and all I want to do is get my life together and be a good father and husband. What’s real is I don’t care how we got here or how bad the timing may seem. I’m not mad about it. You are my fucking dream, Gabriella Grace Jacobson. And I’m not letting you go. That’s what’s real. That is everything. So you just think about that while I’m gone.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
NIGHT RANGER, “SISTER CHRISTIAN”
Gabby
“Hey, Gabbs. What’s up?” My sister Eve asked, answering my call.
“I need advice.”
She laughed. “And you’re calling me? Did Sarah die?”
“No. But did she tell you I slept with Ben?” I stared out my dorm room window at the lights illuminating the parking lot a little before ten at night.