Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 80982 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80982 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
I stepped out into the hall and called out, “Walker?”
When he didn’t answer, I continued to the living room and called for him again. I checked the kitchen, and when there was no sign of him, I looked out the front window. That’s when I spotted him sitting on the front steps. Even from there, I could tell something was wrong.
His elbows were resting on his knees, and he was leaning forward like the weight of the world had finally caught up with him. I opened the door, and for a second, I just stood there, hoping he would glance back at me with a smile.
He didn’t.
I stepped out on the porch, and the old wood creaked beneath me as I made my way over to him. His head lifted when I sat down next to him. I gave him a moment, and when he didn’t speak, I asked, “Are you okay?”
After several moments, he lifted his head and looked at me with anguish in his eyes. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
His words were filled with anguish, and I wanted desperately to know what he was talking about. But I didn’t push. I just sat there and waited for him to continue, “Her name was Emily.”
And just like that, everything stilled.
Walker huffed out the smallest laugh as he said, “She worked at this little bar where some of the guys and I used to hang out. She was beautiful, innocent and good, and she had no business even looking at a man like me. But she set her sights on me. I told her I wasn’t looking for anything, and I wasn’t. I wasn’t the settling-down type.”
That surprised me.
Even with the tattoos, the intense expressions, and the years out on the road, Walker felt steady and safe, like the kind of man somebody built a life with. Hearing he didn’t want that made me wonder if this Emily had been a reason for that.
“That didn’t stop her. She saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself, and she kept trying to lure me in… wouldn’t quit.” He shook his head. “I told myself she deserved better, and she did. But she wore me down.”
I looked over at him, and my chest ached when I saw the anguish in his eyes and the grief weighing on his shoulders. “I don’t even know when it happened, but I got to the point where I couldn’t imagine a day without her in it.”
There were no dramatics, no grand declarations. Just truth, and it was tough to hear, especially when I cared for him the way I did. I knew he was hurting. I could feel the pain radiating off of him, and as much as I wanted to reach out and hold him, I didn’t dare. I needed to hear what he had to say just as much as he needed to say it.
So, I sat there silently and listened as he told me, “We were together six years when she found out she was pregnant.”
And just like that, there was a shift. I felt it. It was like something inside him cracked open just enough for me to see the damage it had done. His voice was strained as he told me, “She gave me a son.”
He shook his head, like the words weren’t good enough. I didn’t move. I didn’t say a word. I was afraid he might stop talking, so I remained completely still and silent. “My son was the best part of me.”
The way he said “was” made my chest tighten. I knew what was coming even before he said the words, and I felt the air rush from my lungs when he said, “He wasn’t even two when he and his mother were taken from me. Losing them nearly ended me.”
His eyes met mine, and when I saw the anguish that filled them, the world felt like it tilted. He didn’t explain or give any details, but at that moment, it was enough. He’d experienced the kind of loss that never really leaves a person. It settles into your bones and becomes part of you.
If I lost my boys, I don’t think I could survive it, so I understood completely when he said, “There’s a piece of me that will always be tied to them. Always.”
“Oh, Walker. I’m so sorry.” Without thinking, I reached over and placed my hand on his. “I can’t imagine how hard that was for you.”
“It broke me, Rae. It shattered me to pieces… He was the best thing I ever did. Both of them were.”
Silence fell between us, and the weight of it pressed against me as I searched for the right words to say. He’d lived through the worst thing I could imagine, and he was still carrying it like it was a reminder that it could happen again.