Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 94119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
CHAPTER 18
June
Jesse and June’s Happily Ever After
Icame out of class and walked into the quad. People were lounging on the grass in groups. I pulled out my cell to call Jesse and ask where he was when his familiar laugh sailed into my ears.
Scanning the quad, I found Jesse with a large group of his teammates. I smiled, just watching him thrive as center of attention, when I caught sight of a group of girls walking toward the football team, two of them beelining for Jesse. One of them laughed at something he said and touched his arm.
Jesse immediately pulled away, but the way my stomach dropped and jealousy took me in its hold was all-consuming. I told myself to go over there and see him. But I was still struggling with all the attention Jesse garnered here at college. Whenever we were together, I could feel the judging stares. And as much as I’d been better about my insecurities, at times, I was paralyzed by feelings of inadequacy. Jesse loved me. I knew he did. I loved him and believed we were meant to be together. But I couldn’t help feeling unworthy sometimes.
I hated feeling this way and tried to make myself not care. But that just wasn’t who I was, and being in the spotlight was never going to be something I was comfortable with.
Jesse checked his cell, began typing, and a text came through to my phone.
Jesse:
Where are you, baby? Do you want to meet up?
I tried to step forward, to just be brave. But when Jesse lifted his head, searching the quad for me, I turned and rushed back toward the library instead. I couldn’t face all those people right now. I’d try again another day—at least that’s what I’d tried to convince myself.
The street was crowded as Sydney and I walked up it. Music blared from the house on our right, and people spilled out onto the front lawn, stumbling and shouting, enjoying themselves. Sydney’s arm tightened in mine. This was neither of our scenes, but I had promised Jesse I would come and Sydney told me she would keep me company.
Today, Jesse had been brought on the field. The second-string QB was injured which gave Jesse his first game on the bench. When the first-string QB had been injured too, Jesse was given his shot. He had killed it, and I couldn’t have been prouder.
We hadn’t expected Jesse to get any game time this early in the season. I wasn’t sure if he was quite ready after last year’s treatment and was worried his body wasn’t as strong as the others in the team. But I was wrong—so wrong.
And I also realized I’d been living completely in the dark. Seeing the crowd’s reaction to Jesse, who looked nothing short of perfect with his charming smile and incredible talent as he flashed up on the Jumbotron, made me realize just how much of a big deal he was going to be and how vastly I had underestimated how popular football players truly were.
By the way he had played, the spotlight was now firmly on him.
I had video called Jesse’s mama, so she could watch some of the game on her break from work. It had made her day. But when I had tried to call Jesse afterward to meet him, the coach had him doing some interviews. He had exploded onto the college football scene, and everyone suddenly seemed to want a piece of him.
I had agreed to meet him tonight at a football party at a frat house, but now that I was here, I was second-guessing myself.
“Wow,” Sydney said, as we watched a tall guy upchucking into potted plant beside the front door. Nerves swam in my stomach. I’d never attended high school parties, and this seemed like a baptism by fire.
I’d texted Jesse, but he’d yet to reply. “We’d better go in and find him,” I said, clutching Sydney like she was my lifeline. We walked through the front door into utter chaos. The music was so loud, I could barely hear myself think, the floor was sticky with spilled drinks, and smoke was thick in the air.
I had missed a creative writing session for this. I had been attending a small creative writing club at a coffee shop for several weeks now, and besides Jesse, it was the best thing in my life. My online story about Jesse and I was more popular than ever, and I loved college and my classes. But there was one thing missing—more time with my boyfriend. Between football and classes, our time together was limited, and it broke my heart.
I felt a pull between us taking us in different directions. It terrified me. Looking around this party now, filled with his friends and people I didn’t even know, the differences seemed glaringly obvious.