Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 94119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
She tipped her head. “Do you believe me?”
I breathed deeply. “I’m trying to,” I said. “I was never one to care that much about my looks. But when I lost my hair and my skin reacted to the treatment and the steroids changed my body and everything else that comes with fighting cancer…” I shrugged. “I guess I lost my confidence somewhere along the way.”
“I understand. I have days where I feel like that too.”
“You do?” I asked. Emma always seemed so sure of herself. “I never would have guessed.”
“How could I not? For all those reasons you’ve just listed. But…” Emma trailed off.
“But what?” I said, clinging to her every word.
She smiled. “But I know my worth and what I’ve fought to still be here, on this earth, breathing. And that reminds me of what I’ve always known.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
Emma’s smile turned into a grin. “That I’m fucking fabulous.”
I laughed—I laughed so hard that Emma joined in and we faced each other on the pillows.
When our laughter faded, Emma said, “Jesse adores you, June. I mean, look!” She pointed to all his drawings.
“I imagine his previous girlfriends were cheerleaders with perfect hair,” I said, feeling my chest squeeze. My insecurities were still there.
“But they weren’t you, and it’s you who he adores.”
“I often wonder, though, that if it wasn’t for us both being here at the ranch, would he have ever even looked at me? And that worries me,” I confessed.
“Babe, that boy would tackle everyone in the world to find you if he’d known you were out there.”
“I’m pretty sure quarterbacks don’t tackle,” I said, fighting a smile, but feeling my soul being soothed by this talk.
Emma rolled her eyes at me. “Then I’m sure he’d make an exception.” Emma dropped a kiss on my cheek, and said, “Face it, June, Jesse Taylor is gone for you. You have that boy whipped.” My body filled with warmth.
Before I knew it, words were spilling from my mouth. “When I met him, it was like I felt a shimmer in the very fabric of the universe. Like, wow, I think I’ve just found my person.” I paused and met Emma’s gaze. “You know the meaning of soulmates? The story that God split a being into two and they had to find one another on earth again?”
“Yeah,” Emma said softly.
“It feels like that for me. Yes, it’s quick. But a month ago, we all thought we were going to die. We might still. We don’t exactly have the luxury of taking our time to find happiness.” I smiled to myself. “And with Jesse, I’m not sure I would have been able to not fall for him so fast, even if we were well.”
“You love him,” Emma said—not a question but a statement.
“I’m falling for him, Emma. So hard,” I confessed.
She launched forward, knocking me back on the bed. “I can’t breathe!” I said as she wrapped me up tightly.
“I don’t care,” she said, planting another kiss on my cheek. “I’m just so happy for you.”
I playfully pushed her off me. Emma cackled, then righted herself on the pillows. “So what about you?” I asked. “Do you like Chris?”
“As a friend,” Emma said firmly, and I knew that was true. They were platonically perfect for one another, but there didn’t seem to be any spark of romance. Emma went quiet, then said, “In all seriousness, June, I hope I get what you have one day. It would be nice to know what it feels like.”
“You will,” I said, squeezing her hand. Emma stared out of my window, lost in thought. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?” I asked after a couple of silent minutes.
“Yeah,” she said. “I know Neenee and Dr. Duncan said to try and be positive, but it’s hard to always stay in that space, often detrimental as I just want to feel what I’m going through without the forced optimism. Sometimes, I can’t help but worry the treatment won’t be working. I want to feel the fear, the dread. Let’s be honest, we’ve all been told that before, hence why we’re here. We’re not unused to bad news.”
“I know,” I said, running my thumb over the back of her palm. “But I’m trying my best to only imagine the good things from now on. And that is helping me. This has helped me. More than you know.” I smiled at Emma, and she returned it. “And I see us all in the future, still best friends. You visiting me at UT and telling me you’ve met that boy you hoped for and are madly in love.”
“That sounds nice,” Emma said, and her eyes glazed over a little. “In fact, it sounds perfect.”
CHAPTER 11
June
My heart seemed to rattle in my chest. We were all in the rec room like we’d agreed. Our parents were here too. So far, Silas, Toby, and Chris had all been to see Dr. Duncan, and just like I’d written, the treatment was working for them.