Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 94119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
I reached into the pocket of my pajamas and pulled out my cell. I found a picture my daddy had taken of me while on a trip to the Texan novelist Katherine Anne Porter’s home. I turned it to show Jesse, completely self-conscious. I looked so different now. I was thinner, paler, and bald. My biggest fear was that he’d see the me from before and wonder what the heck he was doing here with the me from now.
Jesse studied the picture, taking in my long, dark hair that fell in waves past my shoulders. It was thick and healthy. Then, handing me my cell back, said, “You’re just as beautiful without hair now too.”
I studied his face to make sure he meant it. There was nothing but 100 percent honesty in his face.
Jesse lowered his hand but took hold of mine and gripped it tightly. We stared in silence at the rising sun, and I thought back to his picture from before cancer.
“How did you find out you were sick?” I asked.
Jesse shifted in his seat. He laid his cheek on the top of my head. His cheek was soft, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “What?” he asked in confusion.
“Your cheek is the warmest hat I’ve ever had.”
“Then I’ll sit with you as much as you need me to, Junebug. Anything for you.” The butterflies swooped and soared in my stomach. Clearing his throat, he said, “By the time we realized I was sick, it was already too late.”
I froze at that and traced the small scars on the back of Jesse’s hand with my free hand’s fingertips. I felt him shiver and couldn’t help but adore how it felt to cause such a reaction within him. I’d gone from being terrified to show him my true self to feeling content to sit as the me from now by his side.
“Being a football player, I was used to aches and pains. I trained hard and had to fight to keep my weight on. My fitness was my priority. I’m naturally leaner than I need to be for a QB, so I didn’t question why I was losing so much weight or why my throwing arm was hurting—it was always somewhat sore, as I used it so much.”
I could see that being the case. Although they weren’t my friends at school, anyone could see the football team trained crazy hard.
Jesse sighed. “It wasn’t until I collapsed on the field during training that the doc tested my blood. They thought I might be anemic or something, and that was why I was losing color in my face.” He squeezed my hand tighter. I pressed my cheek into his shoulder, trying to give silent support. “My throwing arm was weakening, and it was agony. We thought maybe I’d torn something. The doc ran more tests. We didn’t know at the time, but he’d seen an anomaly in my blood—my leukemia had gathered in my shoulder and that was what was causing me all the pain.
“Two days later, I was diagnosed with AML, stage four.”
I closed my eyes. That had to have been brutal.
“It was only four months ago.” I lifted my head in surprise. Jesse circled his finger to indicate the ranch. “That’s why I was a good candidate for here. I was so far gone that the usual treatment barely touched me.” He swallowed, and I saw a flash of fear shining in his eyes. “I didn’t know if I’d even make it to this point.”
“Jesse,” I whispered. He must have been so scared. The conversation he’d had with my daddy when I’d first arrived now made sense. “That’s how my daddy saw highlights of you playing. You really were playing with cancer. You just didn’t know.”
“Yeah,” he said on a sorrowful sigh. “It’s been hard but not as hard as on my family.” He swallowed his emotion back, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “I’m the man of the house, Junebug. Have been for as long as I can remember.” Jesse looked up at the brightening sky. “I had a plan, a dream I was determined to make come true. I was gonna go to UT, play for the Longhorns, get drafted to the NFL, and become the next Peyton Manning. I was gonna buy my mom a house and send my sisters to college and just…live, you know? Give my mom and family everything they deserved.”
He exhaled and his breath shook. “Now, she’s stuck with thousands of dollars of medical debt that she can’t afford and is unable to leave her job to see me through this trial.” A tear fell from his eye and just about broke my heart. “She doesn’t deserve this, Junebug. None of them do.”
Tears pricked behind my eyelids as Jesse let me see though one of the cracks in his ever-cheery demeanor. I wiped the tear from his cheek with my thumb, then held his cheek, my palm to his damp skin. “Not once, when you were talking just now, did you mention yourself.” Jesse searched my eyes. “You’re a good man, Jesse Taylor. And one way or another, the world will see that. I promise.”