Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 105667 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105667 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
“Nothing happened,” he says to Nora. Then he looks at me, sincerity in his eyes. “I told her nothing, Petra.” Saint says it quickly, as if to throw me a lifeline.
I am completely in shock. I need time to process this, but I don’t know how I can do that when the person I always go to when I need to talk something through is the person I need to talk about.
She has completely betrayed my trust, and now she knows there’s more to whatever happened, more that I haven’t told her. Something big.
“It’s not my business,” Nora says. “But Petra, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened between you two—he said you only spoke for a few minutes—but I swear to you, that is what I’ll believe. Forever. Please forgive me. I really was truly just trying to help. I was going to tell you the next day, but he begged me not to. And then when we spoke, you sounded like it helped, so . . . I just left it alone.”
“I was there for less than five minutes,” Saint says to Nora, throwing me another lifeline. He’s still trying to protect our secret, despite theirs being out in the open. “I left right away. Nothing happened, I just felt bad that she got scared.”
I can’t even find it in myself to appreciate that he’s trying to cover for me, because I’m furious. I’m embarrassed. I feel betrayed and confused and mortified, and now I’m crying and trying to wipe the tears away with quick swipes of my hands.
At least I made it until after the signing this time before having a breakdown.
My vulnerable position forces Nora to step forward and naturally try to comfort me, but I push her away. The three of us stand quietly as I try to process everything I’ve just learned.
Nora sent him there? My best friend?
When I finally compose myself enough to speak, I lift my chin and look at Saint. “I’d like to speak to you alone.”
Nora gets the hint. She nods and walks back toward the store.
What does he want with me? Why couldn’t he walk away after it happened and leave it alone? And now my best friend is involved?
I wait until I know we’re completely isolated before I speak again.
“Why are you here?” I say sharply.
“To get my book signed.” He says it easily, a failed attempt to ease the tension. I don’t laugh, so he finally straightens up and looks at me with sincerity. “I wanted to see you.”
There’s an ache to his voice now. He seems like he’s finally being honest in this moment. I use it to my advantage because I need to know how mad I’m about to be at my best friend.
“I need the truth. What does Nora know?”
“Nothing,” he says with certainty. “She’s being honest. We don’t even talk that often. That night of the live video just happened to be one of the nights we connected. We were discussing your writer’s block, and she knew we were in the same state. She joked that she wished I could stop by and inspire you. I mean, it was a joke at first, but . . .” He stops speaking for a moment. “I’m the one who pushed her to think it was a good idea. I wanted to meet you. And then once I actually met you, I was intrigued. More than intrigued. So I kept it up without telling her.”
I wipe another tear from my eye with a trembling hand. Seeing me cry stirs up guilt in his expression like I’ve never seen. He moves even closer to me, close enough that the memories of him flash through me in a heated second.
“I never meant to scare you. Or betray you. I was attracted to you, and I let it go too far. And I’m sorry. Truly.” He reaches a hand up and grips my elbow gently, dipping his head so that I’m forced to look him in the eye. “I’m sorry.”
I stare back at him, every moment we spent together spiraling through me. Apology after apology, but this betrayal is too much. This hits too close to home. Too close to Shephard. The man I almost destroyed. I owe so much more of myself to Shephard than the wife I’ve been to him.
“I want you to leave. And I never want to see you again.”
He nods. But then he says, “For what it’s worth, I would do it again in a heartbeat.”
Saint might, but Saint doesn’t have what I have at home. I brush his hand from my arm, and with as much resignation as I can muster, I simply say, “I wouldn’t.”
I spin and head straight back inside without saying goodbye to Saint, but it’s clear this was goodbye. I don’t even look back to see his expression, or watch him leave. I walk straight into the bookstore, and I don’t even look at Nora, who is standing there, waiting, hopeful for any morsel of attention from me. I don’t speak to her at all.