Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 105667 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105667 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
“What if that’s not true? What if there are people here with bad intentions so they can get a video that’ll make me look stupid and go viral, like the last Q&A I did?”
Nora grabs both my hands in hers. “Hey,” she says, her voice a whisper. “You’ve already gone viral. You’ve already looked stupid. It’s too late to worry about that.”
Her response makes me cackle. “You’re right. You are absolutely right.”
The store manager finally calls my name, my cue to walk out onto the stage. Nora grabs my purse and phone from me and gives me a reassuring smile. “You’ve got this, Petra. Easy peasy.”
I leave her backstage and step out from behind the curtains, my heart thudding in my chest as I force a smile onto my face. The bookstore manager’s voice echoes faintly in my ears, something about how excited they are to host me, how proud they are of the turnout. But all I can focus on is the sea of faces, and just how many of them there are.
There are so many people. I freeze in place for a few seconds, surprised by the turnout. People actually showed up. And the smile that’s plastered on my face might be a real one.
I take a deep breath, my legs trembling slightly as I continue making my way across the stage, the soft glow of the overhead lights doing little to warm the cold nerves pooling in my stomach.
I wave at the crowd and then settle into the chair, smoothing my hands over my lap as I try to find my center. The manager continues to speak, naming off my bestsellers, but it feels distant, like I’m watching from underwater. My fingers toy with the edge of the armrest as I prepare myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, knowing that this moment is where the real vulnerability begins.
When the manager is finished with her introduction, she instructs, “If you’ll just raise your hand if you have a question, Francis will get the microphone to you.”
People immediately begin to raise their hands. Francis rushes the microphone over to one of them. It’s a woman who looks to be around my age, and she’s wearing a shirt with a stack of books on the front of it. Other women in her row are whispering to her, so it looks like she’s here with a group.
She finally makes eye contact with me, and she looks just as nervous as I feel. “This might be an uncomfortable question,” she says. “But this is the first time you’ve done a Q&A in two years. Since the adaptation.”
“Oh boy,” I say, laughing awkwardly.
The woman continues. “I know, it’s the elephant in the room. But you’ve never once spoken on it, and we’re all dying to know why you agreed with the choice to remove Caleb from the movie. Could you talk about that?”
There’s a quiet murmur in the room, but surprisingly, I don’t mind it. I don’t mind this. It’s an inevitable question if I plan on writing more books, and it’s better to get it out of the way first.
“Yes. I mean, not that I necessarily want to, but I do think readers deserve an explanation.”
More murmurs rush through the room. A few excited claps.
“The truth is, I’m a writer. I write books. And when those books get adapted, it takes years, and dozens of people. And the movie side of this is a different world from what I’m used to. I don’t even look at that world as part of my career, because I’m not a director or a producer or even a screenwriter. I feel like they’re the experts in their field, so when their idea for their adaptation differed from what I wanted to see on-screen, and what I knew you all wanted to see on-screen, I ultimately trusted them to know what would make the better movie. Because that wasn’t my area of expertise. Of course I gave my opinion, but every time I fought to keep Caleb, my words were met with resistance.”
A few groans come from the audience.
“Hold on,” I say. “I’m not blaming anyone. Yes, the producer, Allister, had a different vision than I did. It was his project at that point, and he chose to change the storyline, along with many other people. That’s the risk you take as an author when you sell your film rights.”
Someone else already has the microphone, and she immediately piles on to the previous question. “But why did you deny having a part in it? We all saw the text exchange.”
I can feel heat crawling up my neck. But I knew this was inevitable, so I face it with complete honesty. “Honestly? I made the post saying it wasn’t up to me because, honestly, it wasn’t. If I had it my way, I would have been faithful to the book. But I lost confidence. I gave up and gave in when I should have fought harder for Caleb. And that’s no one’s fault but my own. For that, I’m sorry. Because for what it’s worth, I am team fucking Caleb.”