Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 102708 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 342(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102708 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 342(@300wpm)
“Julius left this?”
“Yes, with an envelope of money.”
Keeping my emotions in check, I asked, “Why didn’t you call or text me?”
“I don’t know…” she whispered, lost in thought. “I think I just… crashed…”
“Here you go,” the attendant announced, yanking me away from the memory. I grabbed the rectangular, hard, plastic urn out of her hands. “Thanks.”
Isla opened her backpack. “Do you want to put it in here?”
“Umm…”
Unsure of what to say, I stared at it for a minute. It was such a surreal feeling to be holding her in this way. I never thought this day would come, at least not like this. She was just a pile of ashes now, in a shitty urn provided by the state.
Although the doctor said we could say our goodbyes to her while she was in the ER, we didn’t.
Julius signed off on her body, and we left after that.
The last memory I had of her was staring into her dead eyes, so saying goodbye to her wouldn’t have accomplished a damn thing. There was nothing left to say. We shared it all, including how we wanted her dead. I didn’t know much about spirituality, but that kind of shit couldn’t have been good for our own karma.
I guess you could say I was trying to process it all, and so far, I was failing miserably. I had no idea where my brother was, and the fact that he had been gone this long was also something I never expected, especially since he left Isla behind. Which only proved how messed up he truly was.
I was definitely worried about him. However, having Isla to myself helped tremendously, but given the current events, we were both simply trying to keep our heads above water.
“Kraven, here.” Isla grabbed the urn out of my grasp. “I’ll do it for you.”
I allowed her to, watching her slip Melody’s ashes into her backpack. Wondering if her soul was in there with her, trapped for all eternity for being a shitty mother.
She zipped up her bag and said, “All set.”
I nodded, suddenly thinking about Julius’s phone and how he wasn’t answering our calls. We couldn’t find him anywhere. No one knew where he was, not even Roland.
Isla was a wreck, and I wasn’t too far from it.
“Are you okay?” she chimed in, her eyebrows pinching together.
I nodded again, unable to focus.
“You don’t look okay.”
“Let’s get something to eat,” I clipped, changing the subject. I grabbed her hand, leading her out of the building.
We went to a random spot next to the office. After we ordered our food, we sat in silence for a few minutes.
We were always able to sit in stillness without it being weird. I never felt like I had to fill the quiet between us with words. We found refuge in it. It was nice to finally find someone who was like me in that sense.
“Do you really think he’s gone?” Isla asked so low I could barely hear her, bringing my attention back to her.
I shrugged. “I’m not sure, Kitty.”
With timid eyes, she asked, “Has he ever done this before?”
“No.”
Other than tracking down Julius, we hadn’t discussed much about him in general. It was as if we were searching for Joe or Melody and just moving on autopilot. The only difference was the anxiety I felt from not being able to find him, only reminding me of what it was like in the beginning when we first started looking for our parents.
Which faded as the months went on and we couldn’t find them…
I was half expecting him to walk through the door at any second. I didn’t think he was gone forever, but at that point, I didn’t know much about anything, and I wasn’t going to lie to her to make her feel better.
She bowed her head, muttering, “What’s going to happen to me?”
I lifted her chin to look at me. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” She paused with nothing but worry in her stare. “Do you want me to leave?”
“Leave?” I frowned.
“Yeah, Kraven. As in your house.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Why would I want that?”
“Because Julius isn’t there…”
“Oh,” I rasped, catching on. “After everything we’ve been through, you still believe that?”
“I don’t know what to believe anymore, Kraven.” Her voice was laced with defeat, and I hated it.
“It’s been one thing after another, and coming from someone who’s been through everything, I’m so lost right now I can barely see straight.”
“Because of Julius?”
“Because of everything.”
Considering her answer, I nodded. “Fair enough.”
“Is it?” She scoffed. “I barely knew your mom, but here I am, mourning her. I don’t want to make it about me, and I feel guilty of how much I am. I’ve never met anyone like her before. She was magnetic. This magic personality I couldn’t resist being lured into.”
“Yeah... she had that effect on people.”