Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 91864 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91864 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Sean nodded and sat back down. I exhaled a confusing breath because even though I hadn’t known Sean long, I didn’t want him angry at me and I usually didn’t give a shit about stuff like that. “I also used to know this guy who liked being watched. He and his girlfriend both did, and I watched them once. She wasn’t the only one I was paying attention to.” I was trying to make sense of it all because I wanted Sean, wanted him fucking badly and yeah, part of it was likely because of the intrigue, of the fact that he always one-upped me, but the rest was desire plain and simple.
“I didn’t consider either situation a big deal, ya know? I didn’t think they meant anything. I mean, one was head and who the fuck didn’t want head? And the other there was a woman involved so yeah, I assumed that’s why I enjoyed it so much, but there was no woman here and I sure as shit wanted to touch you.”
Sean sighed, but also looked as though he understood my confusion. “So you’re bi. That’s not a bad thing.”
“I’m not saying it is, I just…shouldn’t I have known? I mean, shouldn’t I have been spending my life boning both men and women if I was bi? Or at least wouldn’t I have noticed I was attracted to men?” I didn’t like being confused, didn’t like not having the answers. I spent my whole life trying to succeed, trying to be confident so I could prove I was really something, to prove to my grandmother I was worthy. I’d always thought I knew who I was.
“I don’t know, Ethan. I guess it’s different for everyone. I’ve always been more attracted to guys than girls…and maybe you’ve just always been more attracted to girls than guys. Who knows? There’s no one-step guide to figuring out your sexuality. Life doesn’t work that way.”
I wanted it to. “Maybe I should write one, then.”
He laughed and I laughed, which made some of the tension ease out of my chest. “I thought I was going to fuck you,” I admitted.
“I thought I was going to let you fuck me too, but then I worried about you being able to keep up, it being your first time with a man and all. I’m really fucking good.”
“Fuck you! I’m really fucking good too. I would have owned your ass.” He shrugged and we were both quiet before I said, “I think maybe I should go.”
“I think that might be a good idea,” he replied.
I gathered my clothes, and as I put them on, Sean pulled on his underwear. He watched me, and I realized I liked his eyes on me. I always liked eyes on me though, so was that really something new? I didn’t know.
Once I was dressed, I slipped a card onto his table. Sean walked me to the door. That was typically where I said good-bye and most of the time, never saw the person again. Or if I did, it was on a friendship level and nothing more. The thing was, I hadn’t gotten Sean out of my system yet. I still hadn’t figured the crazy bastard out, and I didn’t think I would walk away before I did.
I pulled him close and took his mouth again. He let me, and I slipped my tongue between his lips and wished he was on his knees for me again. Or that I was on my knees for him.
When we pulled away, I stepped out of the door, walked backward down the hallway and said, “Next time, I think I want to try fucking.”
“Who said there will be a next time?” he called back.
“Oh, there will be a next time.” He could count on it.
With that, I turned and continued walking away.
8
Sean
“Listen to me, Wade,” I said, taking a sip of my cocktail before setting it back down on the bar. “You’re going to have to step up your game.”
“What are you talking about? We’re rebranding the whole line. New labels. New artwork. That’s stepping it up, Sean.”
Wade and I worked for the same marketing firm, with him handling the East Coast division. Since he was in town that week for one of our annual meetings, he asked if he could run an issue by me. We met at a local bar, where he filled me in on the deets about his client, a manufacturer that distributed to several major grocery store retailers. They were interested in rebranding a line of organic chocolate bars since sales hadn’t taken off after the launch. And being somewhat of a marketing genius myself, I was more than willing to meet with him to give him some advice.
“No, I’m telling you, you can’t just tweak anything. Customers will see right through that. No one wants something that looks like a product they weren’t interested in. Listen to me. I had a very similar issue come up last year. These guys were peddling jam—same organic market we’re talking about right now. They couldn’t get the product to sell at all, so what did we do?”