Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 93463 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 374(@250wpm)___ 312(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93463 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 374(@250wpm)___ 312(@300wpm)
I nod again, slower this time, absorbing his words like they’re some kind of absolution. Like if I just believe them hard enough, the rest will be easier.
“What happens if I don’t marry him?” I ask quietly.
He exhales, his shoulders slumping just a little. “Then I find you someone else. Someone who still brings benefit. But if it’s not him… then I’m afraid it might be someone older. Maybe meaner. Maybe not so understanding. And I don’t want that for you.”
He sighs. “You deserve someone who’s going to take care of you.”
“That’s what this is?” I ask, forcing myself to stay steady despite the storm swirling in my chest—curious, suspicious.
“Yeah. Pavel was just a kid before. Young and full of himself. Pompous, too full of his own goddamn hubris.” Rafail sighs, blowing out a breath, his eyes flicking up like he’s asking the heavens for patience. “But he’s grown up. That was a couple years ago. He’s had a hard life, Zoya. He’s ready to settle down now.”
I arch a brow. “Is that your opinion, or do you actually believe that? So I’m engaged to a player?”
There’s a smirk tugging at my lips. I can’t help it. It’s the only armor I have left.
Rafail groans, clearly exasperated. “For fuck’s sake, Zoya. No. Not a player. He was… wild. Known for it. But that’s not who he is anymore. He’ll be loyal. He’ll be good to you.”
“And exceptionally wealthy,” I mutter dryly, rolling my eyes. “As if I care about that.”
He glances sideways at me, something unreadable behind his eyes. “I expected you to be more emotional about this.”
I shrug. “I expected me to be more emotional too. But why? I knew it was going to happen eventually.”
What I don’t say out loud is that if I can’t have the one man I want, what good is there in hoping for anything else?
I swallow the lump in my throat and look away.
“You said he’ll be good to me,” I murmur. “He’ll take care of me?”
“Yes. He will.”
“When do I meet him?”
“Tomorrow,” Rafail says. “I’ve invited him for dinner.”
I sigh, trying to brace myself. “Great. If that’s what you want, Rafail.”
After all the lies I’ve told, after all the ways I’ve betrayed them, this is the one thing I can do. The one thing I can give back. A shred of loyalty to pay for all the secrets I’ve buried.
Seamus isn’t coming back.
And I don’t want another man.
“It’s more than just what I want,” Rafail says, his voice turning heavier. “If you’re with him, Zoya, we gain protection. Power. Our family’s standing with the Morozovs solidifies. No one questions us. No one moves against us.” He shakes his head and runs his fingers through his hair. “It’s mutually beneficial on every level. Financial, political, strategic. Every one of us has made sacrifices.”
I nod, resolute. “All right. I’ll do what you say. I’ll come up with something good to cook.”
Rafail leans in, presses a kiss to my cheek, and wraps me in a rare hug—tight, grounding. “No, I’ll have it catered this time. You are so good to our family,” he whispers. “So loyal. So brave.”
Am I? I think. Am I really?
I sigh and nod. “I try.”
“I was afraid you’d fight me on this,” he admits. “Afraid I’d have to make you.”
“Make me?” I ask, lifting a brow.
He shrugs. “I’m just… relieved. It’s best you make a good appearance,” he adds. “Do you want to go, I don’t know… shopping? Haircut? New dress?”
I shrug. “Does it really matter?”
Can you cover up the face of heartbreak?
He gives me a sheepish look and shrugs again. “Honestly? Yeah. It does. We want to make a good impression.”
I nod. Because that’s what this is. A performance. A sacrifice. A war disguised as a wedding.
And I’m the weapon.
“You think this will be a good match?” I say, unable to hide the snideness threading through my words. There’s no point pretending anymore, not with him. I don’t know if anyone else has figured it out, but he should know. This is how it works. He knows.
“I do,” he says.
The weight of his voice makes me pause. “All right.” I nod, trying to stay composed. “If this will help you, I’ll do it,” I agree, swallowing my pride. I’ll sign everything away, I think silently. My hopes. My dreams. Any lingering fantasy of marrying someone who might actually love me.
Maybe it won’t be as bad as I fear. Maybe we’ll learn to coexist, even find common ground. That’s all I can really hope for now. Love? I’ve let that go. I’ve let him go. But I won’t run. Not again. Never again. This is a new chapter.
No, a whole new volume.
Chapter 10
SEAMUS
I stare at the fucking walls of this prison, wishing I were anywhere but here. And at the worst moments, when they drag me out to brutalize me, when they hurt me, when they torture me for information, I think of Zoya.