Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 70417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 352(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 352(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
“I do,” she said quietly.
I tucked her back under my chin, resting it on her head. “I’ll come back to you, safe and sound. I just found you, Kitten. I found my reason to keep going once this is over. I’m not going to mess that up.”
“You better not, fuckwit.”
I smirked into her hair, knowing she was trying to make me smile. I loved it when she teased me.
“Sleep now, Kitten. Let me hold you for a while.”
“You’ll stay for a while?”
I kissed her head. “For as long as I can.”
Sean was leaning on the counter, sipping a whiskey, when I entered the kitchen.
“Is she asleep?”
I nodded. “I’ll leave soon. She knows I won’t be back for a while.” I sighed, letting my head rest on my chest. “You’ll need to be with me.”
He took another drink. “Yeah.”
“Thank you for buying her the art stuff.”
“She’s good. And she enjoys it. She needs something happy.”
“I agree. It helps her pass the time too.”
“There is more in her room. I made sure she had lots.”
“Good.”
“You really care for her.”
I could only nod.
He drained his glass. “I think I should send Skylar to Julia.”
I jerked my head up and was already shaking it furiously before Sean made it to the table.
“Cian,” he said wearily as he sat down. “You need to step back. The way you reacted earlier? You need your head in the case. You can’t be worrying about Skylar.”
“I need her here.” I tapped my finger on the wooden tabletop loudly. “Here—where I can come see her.”
He leaned forward. “Is it too much, Cian? Playing this part twenty-four seven—is it too much?”
I scrubbed my face. “It’s killing me a little every day, but I can do it. It’ll be over soon.”
“Talk to me.”
“They’re abhorrent, Sean—beyond vile. Even more than I thought. Every second I’m there sickens me.” I stood and started pacing, my hands running through my hair on an endless loop. “I feel like I’m losing me…and becoming Tony.”
He regarded me shrewdly. “What happened today after I left?”
I gripped my hair. “One of his dealers didn’t…please him. Orson issued the order.”
“You killed him?”
I shut my eyes. “I had no choice.”
“You’ve killed before, Cian. You knew you’d have to kill more.”
“He was just a kid, Sean. I don’t even think he knew what he was doing. He was younger than Skylar. He just fucked up.” I sat down heavily, recalling his face, the look of utter terror as I pulled out my gun and shot him—dead. Remembering how my stomach twisted, my heart pounded, and still, I pulled the trigger, then turned away, feigning indifference.
Moments later, I was out back, throwing up in the bushes, desperately trying to control my breathing so I could go back inside and continue pretending not to give a fuck. The urgent need to see Skylar had started then and had grown immeasurably all day long.
“He just fucked up,” I repeated. “He didn’t deserve to die because he got his fucking numbers mixed up.”
“If he was involved with Orson and this world, he was headed for an early grave.”
I nodded silently, knowing he was trying to comfort me.
“Orson is really on edge. We’ve got him jumping at shadows,” Sean mused.
“I know.”
“Cian, we can end this. Say the word, and it’s done.”
“I have to see this through. I have to.” I swallowed and steeled myself. “I want his fucking drugs off the street, even if someone else replaces them. I want him gone. I want to do this for my father—for all the other people that bastard murdered.”
“We can get him on something else.”
“And the room goes up in smoke.”
He grabbed my arm. “It’s a watch, Cian. It’s just a fucking watch. It’s not going to bring him back. It’s not worth losing your mind over it.”
I shook my head. “It’s more than a watch, Sean. It’s a piece of my history. All the things in that room are memories—fucking sacred memories—small pieces of a life that fucker snuffed out because he decided he was God and chose to take them away. I want to give their families that piece back. Deny him that final pleasure. I want him to know he lost.
“I have to do this.” I let my head fall back down to my chest, suddenly exhausted. “And I need Skylar close to help me get through it all—if she can forgive me for doing what I have to do to end it. If she’ll stay with me when it’s over.”
Skylar’s voice came from the doorway. “I’m right here, Cian. I’m not going anywhere—now or when it’s done.”
I lifted my head and held out my hand. She came forward, slipping her hand in mine.
“You get him, Cian. Then we’ll start our life together and leave all the ugliness behind us.”
I pulled her onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her waist and holding her close. I buried my face into her neck, breathing in her delicate scent, allowing it to calm me.