Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 125852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 629(@200wpm)___ 503(@250wpm)___ 420(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 629(@200wpm)___ 503(@250wpm)___ 420(@300wpm)
Chase and Hector, another AU football player, are getting down on some video game. Ari and Paige both sit in the recliner on the other side of the room, searching the internet for costume ideas for the Halloween party coming up. Mason and Brady are in the little kitchen area with a few of their other friends, laughing and talking about tonight’s game while finishing off the last of the frozen pizzas we made about two hours ago.
Thankfully, the team took the after-party down the block to one of the fraternity houses. It worked out since we were already planning for a quieter night in. The boys all have to fit in a study group tomorrow because their schedules will be different next week due to an away game. It’s not an overnighter, but they won’t get in until around three in the morning.
I don’t realize I’ve zoned out until Brady drops beside me on the carpet, spinning a football around in his hands.
We look at each other, and he tips his head slightly. “You okay?”
I nod, and Brady frowns instantly.
“Cam. Don’t lie to me.” He tucks the ball under an arm. “Was tonight too much?”
“You mean was your helping me sell the story of us the way I asked you to too much?”
His response is instant: “Yes.”
I shake my head but leave it resting against the wall, a small tip to my lips. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Brady.”
“You say that, but something’s wrong, and I know this sad face you’ve been wearing the last few hours isn’t ’cause we had no pineapple for those cardboard-tasting pizzas.”
A small laugh manages to escape, and he grins, though it doesn’t meet his eyes.
“Cammie Baby, I’m sorry. The girls, or fans”—he rolls his eyes—“or whatever you want to call them, have been hounding my ass a lot more this year. It’s kind of a lot to deal with,” he mutters, almost as if there’s a little more to it than what he’s saying. “When I spotted you all decked out in my name tonight, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to try to tame the packs, since we were already putting on a show on campus. I had a good time, and you were smiling, and shit, I don’t know. I’m sorry,” he says again.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for. We were having fun, and you have as much right to use this arrangement to your benefit as I do. I want you to.”
He scowls, shaking his head. “Not at the expense of hurting you.”
I drop my eyes, sliding my fingers over the smudges on the screen of my phone before looking back to him with a shamed smile. “You didn’t hurt me, Brady.”
He stares, gauging me a long moment. As I knew he would, my perceptive friend figures out what I couldn’t bring myself to say. He nods his understanding, his voice a little lower than normal when he says, “He didn’t mean to hurt you either.”
Embarrassment warms my cheek. “I know,” I concede. “At least not in this instance, right?”
“Maybe not in either,” Brady adds, almost hesitantly. “Not that that takes away from the fact that he did.”
“Yeah. I think maybe you’re right, but…” I break off with a sigh, propping my head on the wall once more.
He takes my hand, drawing it up to kiss my knuckles, and my eyes shift his way, my lips tipping up slightly.
“Should we call this off?” he mumbles. “You can slap me and call me names for everyone to see. I kinda always wanted to see how one of those public breakups felt anyway. The chick flicks you guys used to make us watch always made them seem so interesting.”
A laugh bubbles out of me, and he grins, but it falls pretty quickly.
“For real, Cameron. Do we need to end this? I don’t want to hurt anyone. Especially you.”
Warmth washes over me, but it’s not enough to thaw the tension my muscles have held since Alister gave me his back at the game.
God, I’m so messed up. I hate that you can’t just turn off feelings. Life would be so much easier if you could.
“I don’t want to hurt him either,” I tell him. “That’s not why I wanted us to pretend.” Slowly, I meet his gaze and decide to be honest. “I don’t think I can let go of what he did to even be able to try to be with him, Brady. I’ve attempted it. I’ve found myself enjoying his attention here and there since, but then suddenly it all comes back, and I can’t get away from him fast enough. Like in the back of my mind, I know we can’t get over the past, but then shit like this happens, and suddenly I’m confused again. It’s like a part of me isn’t convinced I don’t want him, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I was hoping he would accept this for what it was and distance himself, but he did the opposite.”