Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87439 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87439 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
“That man could sell five-day old jelly rolls out of his great aunt’s minivan and I’d buy them,” a woman in line piped up.
Davey squealed and held a hand up for a high five. “Girl, you know it. Silas, meet Layla. Layla, Silas.”
“You’re Cooper’s new neighbor,” she announced. “Sorry! Don’t be alarmed. I swear I’m not following you. Cooper’s my boss.”
“Ahh. Okay.” I sipped my coffee, eyeing the bubbly brunet for a moment. I hadn’t had this much impromptu social interaction that wasn’t in a bar or nightclub in a while. I was rusty as fuck. “Yeah, I just got in yesterday. Caffeine first and maybe a jalapeño donut, but I’m not sure I’m brave enough for that combo.”
Layla chuckled. “Me either, but I’d take one for the team. Hell, I’d sacrifice the last few minutes of my break to run that particular errand for you, but I have a shipment to process. The usual for me, please, Davey.”
“You got it. Bye, Si! Welcome back.” Davey waved.
I thanked him and ducked out of the coffee shop with a smile on my face.
I moved on to Wood Hollow Market, where I bumped into an elderly couple arguing over Kashi versus Muesli in the cereal aisle.
“Get the Mucinex, Harry. I like that one,” a white-haired woman with braids and a tie-dyed purse declared…at the top of her lungs.
“No, you like the Kashi. The fruity flavor.”
“Do you know me?” she griped without heat. “Get the Mucinex.”
Harry grumbled as he reached for a box on the top shelf. There was no way he’d manage it without some acrobatics.
“I’ll get that for you,” I said, handing him the cereal.
Harry offered a toothy grin. “Thank you, young man!”
The woman toddled toward us and smiled, then pointed at the box and nearly keeled over with hilarity. “Muesli, not Mucinex! Ha!”
Harry chortled too. “Oh, yeah. Mucinex is the diarrhea stuff.”
“Oh, Harry. Don’t say the D word in polite company. You’ll scare the poor man.” She smacked Harry’s elbow lightly and winked at me. “You’re wrong, anyway. Mucinex is for your congestion.”
“I’m not congested.”
“I didn’t say you were, but if you were…you’d take the medicine for it.”
Harry snickered. “Not eat cereal?”
They were off to the races again, laughing like hyenas. It wasn’t even remotely funny, but I was charmed.
“Is that the one you wanted?” I asked.
The woman nodded. “Yes, dear. This stuff is tasty with a cup of nonfat Greek yogurt.”
“Boo! Life is short, eat the pancakes,” Harry advised.
“Harry’s a terrible influence. Don’t listen to him.”
“Rhona probably knows what she’s talking about,” Harry conceded. “We’ve been married for forty-seven years.”
I grinned. “Congratulations. That’s awesome.”
“Awesome! I like that word,” Rhona enthused. “Now…I’m guessing you either made a wrong turn in Elmwood, or you’re visiting a relative. Which is it?”
“I’m visiting, but on my own. No relatives.”
They nodded politely.
“You sure you’re not related to someone from these parts? You look an awful lot like the Bruces. Strong jaw…very handsome.”
“Thanks, but…no. I’m actually staying at a friend’s house by the lake.” I made a small production of dropping a box of Cheerios into my empty cart. “I should—”
“Oh, which house? Our nephew lives by the lake. Do you know Cooper? He’s a mite taller than me and almost as handsome. We think he takes after his mother’s side of the family. Looks a bit like his Aunt Rhona here.”
“No, Coop is my brother Sal’s doppelganger,” Rhona corrected.
I did a double take. “You’re Cooper’s aunt and uncle?”
“We are. Harry and Rhona Lavigne.” Harry did a mini jig, and Rhona added some jazz hands. “And what’s your name?”
“Silas Anderson.” I shook their hands, grinning like a maniac. These two were fucking hilarious. “Now I’m extra pleased to meet you. I’m Cooper’s neighbor…temporarily, anyway.”
“That’s lovely! Well, we’re a little biased, but I’ll tell you, there’s not a finer man in Wood Hollow,” Rhona bragged.
“What about me?” Harry huffed, his eyes twinkling mischievously.
“You’re okay.” She winked, tugging at her husband’s Grateful Dead T-shirt before addressing me. “How long will you be staying? I’m a terrific cook, if I do say so myself. I’ll make a batch of my hearty minestrone and my savory biscuits. We’ll drop them off at Cooper’s and demand that he shares with you.”
“That would be nice,” I said. “It was great meeting you both.”
“You too, honey.”
I strolled away with a ridiculous smile on face. And it kept getting bigger.
Mandy, the cashier remembered me. She even remembered that I’d asked about a taxi on my previous visit, so she introduced me to Jed, a gray-haired man with a thick mustache and a ruddy complexion who was checking out a rack of chocolate bars specially priced at three for a dollar. He shook my hand profusely, dug a card from his pocket, and insisted that I give him a call sometime. He wanted to talk football too. Jed was thrilled to meet a pro player in person, but I wasn’t his first. He’d met Fran Tarkenton in the eighties and boy, that had been something.