Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 75748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
“Brutal honesty then,” she agreed. “Unless I’m asking if I look all right when I look like hell. Then… lie to me.”
“Honey, you could never look like hell.”
“Exactly,” she agreed with a little nod. “Keep me delusional.”
She leaned in closer to me.
And I couldn’t help but lean down and steal a quick kiss. While I hoped like hell this little conversation was a sign that she was considering a future with me.
The problem was, we were so busy getting lost in each other that we didn’t realize how close danger really was.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Blair
Unfortunately for everyone, Matthew’s laptop wasn’t as easy to get into as his safe had been, since he had it fingerprint enabled.
For a full two days—where it seemed Zeno worked round the clock—for him just to get the damn thing unlocked.
I was sure there were members of the Costa family who were anxious and wanted it over.
As for me, though, I was in this dreamy little cocoon of pleasure and (dare I say it?) happiness.
And after so many hard and unhappy years, I was letting myself bask in it.
After the first day, I wouldn’t even let myself entertain thoughts of how it might be temporary, how we were just playing at a life together, not actually living one.
None of that mattered.
What mattered was how good it felt to have someone to share a deep conversation with, someone to cook with, to go on walks with, to fall into bed with, to lose myself for hours in.
Did the dreamy days when I had Nico all to myself start to create this warm, swelling sensation in my chest? Was I starting to think the sensation was the very thing that had been missing from my marriage all along? That thing that made people paint portraits and write poetry?
Yes.
But even the fear of falling too hard for something fake wasn’t enough to force me to pull back or put up my guards.
Just for once, I was going to let myself feel instead of think.
“Was he okay going with him?” I asked, heart a little broken to see Nico coming into the apartment without Goya.
“He recognized him immediately. He spent a lot of time with Brio,” Nico reminded me. “Hey, it’s just an hour or two,” he said, coming to me and reaching for my arms, forcibly uncrossing them. He pulled them up his chest to rest on his shoulders.
“I just hate to think he thinks he’s going back to the shelter.”
“I’m sure he’s going to have a good time at training.”
Goya was a good boy.
But he did need a little work on his leash manners. And I wanted him evaluated for how he did with other dogs of all different sizes and personalities. I just wanted to really know what I was getting into with his long-term future.
Besides, Brio insisted that all dogs should go to some single and group training classes.
“Gotta set ‘em up for success,” he’d said on the speaker phone when he called to talk about Goya and any questions or concerns I had.
It had been Nico who’d insisted that Brio take Goya to training for us since the training facility was only a couple blocks away from our apartment building and he didn’t want me being seen in that area yet.
“He’s going to be okay, honey,” Nico assured me, his arms going around me and pulling me up against his chest.
“What’s that look for?” I asked when his blue eyes went all gooey.
“Just getting a glimpse into the future.”
“What do you mean?”
“You, panicking that your preschooler thinks you abandoned them on their first day of school.”
There it was again.
The heart squeeze.
But this time, amplified at the idea of a family.
One with a man like him.
Someone who would be kind and committed. Someone who was capable and dedicated to being a partner.
And maybe that preschooler would have his sweet dark blue eyes. And his calm nature. And his generosity.
“You think about things like that?”
“Honey, I’ve been thinking of little else. Well,” he said, hands sliding to cup my ass, “and other things. But, yeah, I think of things like that. About Christmas mornings, holding mugs of coffee, bleary-eyed from being up all night wrapping and stuffing presents under the tree, watching as the kids tear into the paper. About birthday parties and vacations. And about Friday night pizzas or ice cream and movie nights. About hard talks and funny family jokes.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard a man say anything like that,” I admitted. “But I’ve thought about all those things too. Then mourned over losing all those things. It’s still hard to remember that those dreams aren’t gone now.”
“Not gone. Just featuring a different partner being there with you.”
He leaned down, pressing his forehead to mine.
“Yeah,” I agreed, letting my arms slide around him. “Nico?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something?”