Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 49459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 247(@200wpm)___ 198(@250wpm)___ 165(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 49459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 247(@200wpm)___ 198(@250wpm)___ 165(@300wpm)
I carried the bucket down the hall, past the library, and toward the supply room where I could restock. I knew he was out, had heard whispers that the king and queen insisted he speak with someone who could help. I was sure Lennox didn’t want to speak with a therapist, but he did so to placate his family.
And because he was gone, I felt confident in cleaning his quarters. At least when he wasn’t here, I didn't have to fight the magnetism and also frustration of being near him.
I headed for his bedchamber, allowing myself to wonder what it would mean if he was my mate… and what it would mean if he wasn’t.
Because either way, I was already too far gone. And gods… that was a hard pill to swallow.
5
LENNOX
“This isn’t a waste of time, Lennox,” Dr. Bronwyn Mikonovich said in that soft, placating voice of hers.
I didn’t respond.
“This is good for you. It’s been going well, don’t you think?”
I snorted. “If ye think being forced by my father tae come here weekly while ye tell me all the shit that I can do tae ‘better my life,’ then ye and I have very different ideas on what’s been going well.”
She leaned back in her chair and nodded in that way that annoyed the fuck out of me. Because it genuinely seemed like she got where I was coming from.
It was also the way she stared at me that told me she could see through my bullshit and wanted to call me out. But she’d also said we weren’t “there” yet in this professional relationship for her to really open up the way she wanted us both to.
I looked at my watch. “Time’s up, Doc,” I said and rose, the couch behind me looking like a fucking piece of dollhouse furniture compared to my size.
She exhaled but didn’t say anything in response. She stood as well, setting her tablet on the little table beside her chair and looking at me to once again give me that placating smile.
I dwarfed her so much she had to tip her head back to look at my face.
Being a Lycan meant I was a big male in general, but ever since my accident and losing the one integral part of me—my Lycan, my inner animal—all I’d been focusing on was working out.
Lifting helped to keep my head clear and focused. It helped me not obsess over the things I couldn’t change.
At the very thought of no longer sensing my inner beast within me, I felt those dark tendrils of nothingness start to creep through me.
They’d been my friend—or enemy, more accurately—for a very long time after my accident, after my face had been scarred when we’d attacked our enemies.
It wasn’t even the fucking scarring that bothered me. It was the fact that after I’d woken up from my accident, I hadn’t been able to feel my wolf.
It was as if he’d deserted me at the time I needed him the most.
I knew Dr. Mikonovich could sense how on edge I constantly was and smell that frantic energy in me, seeing as she, too, was a Lycan.
But she didn’t seem intimidated. Not one fucking bit. Then again, I was sure she saw a lot of Otherworld creatures who had a lot more darker issues than I did.
“I’ll see you next week, Lennox.”
I grunted my affirmation because she and I both knew I didn’t have a choice.
Father or not, when the Scottish king of the Lycans told you to do something, you fucking did it, thanked him, and asked for seconds.
I left her office and was in my SUV before I realized that I’d even made the small trek to my vehicle. I sat in the driver’s seat for a minute with my hands on the steering wheel, the leather creaking as I slowly tightened my fingers around it.
Truth was, I was fucking exhausted. My father had gotten sick of seeing me either moping around my room, cursing out the staff in angry fits from my frustration, or picking fights with my brothers or the Guard.
The testosterone and aggression in my body was so high it was starting to choke me.
I hadn’t been able to shift into my animal for far too long, which I could have handled if I’d known I could at some point. But I didn’t know. I had no fucking clue why my inner beast was gone or if he’d ever come back.
And seeing as there was no recorded history of this happening to our kind, no one knew how to help.
It was an itch under my skin, a burn in my veins. It was that feeling when you are so thirsty that it physically hurts.
I made quick work heading back to the estate, although I should’ve taken my fucking time. I didn’t want to see the sympathetic looks cast my way from everyone I passed.