Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 88501 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 443(@200wpm)___ 354(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88501 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 443(@200wpm)___ 354(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm)
“When Parker and I were trying to find our footing together, he took me to meet Joy’s mother, Molly,” Declan murmured from where he sat next to me in the back seat. “They might not be physically with us, but the dead still have an impact on our lives. You have to make your peace with them if you’re going to move forward.”
I nodded, acknowledging Declan’s words. Sawyer had guided too many of my interactions with Simon through the years. It was time to let things go.
Sebastian pulled the car over to the side of the road and put it in park. I didn’t move for nearly a minute, just stared across the mostly brown lawn in the direction of Sawyer’s grave. “I’m not sure what kind of absolution I can find here today. Do you think he’d really forgive me for dating his brother?”
I reached for the door handle, but Declan grabbed my arm, stopping me. His expression was fierce and determined. “This isn’t about Sawyer forgiving you. It’s about you forgiving Sawyer for saying the things he did. For believing the terrible things he accused you of.”
My heart skipped, and anything I might have said in response crumbled away as my brain locked up. The thought had never crossed my mind. I’d always assumed this was about me begging Sawyer’s forgiveness for breaking my promise to him.
“Come on,” Rome urged, throwing open the front door of the giant black SUV Sebastian had rented. “The sun is almost down. I don’t want to be here when the dead crawl out of the ground.”
“You have got to stop reading horror books. They’re rotting your brain,” Sebastian countered as he stepped out of the car.
“Declan reads horror. I read science-fiction and adventure,” Rome snapped. Their bickering helped to bring some normalcy to the moment, and I could breathe again. Declan had released my arm and exited the vehicle. I joined them, crossing the narrow, paved path into the grass.
Our footsteps crunched on dead grass and old twigs. The wind whipped through the graveyard, and I automatically reached up to adjust my scarf only to recall that I didn’t have one on me. Simon still had it.
“That’s a slightly creepy smile,” Sebastian observed.
I looked up to see him smirking at me while I lifted the collar of my coat to pull it up higher. “I was thinking Simon still has my scarf and gloves. He’s been borrowing them for the better part of a month now.”
Sebastian chuckled softly. “Yeah, there’s no way you’re getting them back now. Better to hope that maybe he gives you a new scarf and gloves for your birthday.”
“When was the last time you were here, Rome?” Declan inquired. Rome had been directing us since we entered the cemetery.
“A few years. But at least I was smart enough to come during the summer last time.” He glanced at us and pulled his red knit hat lower to better cover his ears. It wasn’t even that cold—still above freezing—but the dampness in the air made it feel more biting.
“What were you doing in Charlotte?” I inquired.
Rome shot me a look. “Seeing Sawyer.” He shrugged and tacked on, “It was coming up on the anniversary of his death, and he’d been on my mind. I thought I’d pay him a visit.”
I grunted. Nothing to say to that. After Sawyer’s funeral, I’d returned to see him only once. Guilt had always kept me away.
Guilt that our last words had been spoken in anger.
Guilt that the argument might have distracted him and led to his death.
Guilt that I’d somehow done something to make him think that I could be a threat to his brother.
But I didn’t want that for us. Sawyer and I had been best friends all through college, and our friendship should have never come to such a horrible end.
The headstone was a simple, solid piece of marble with the name MILLER carved in large letters. Below it was inscribed the rest of Sawyer’s information, along with “beloved son and brother.”
We formed a semicircle in front of Sawyer’s grave, and I got the impression that they expected me to say something, but I didn’t know what to say now that we were standing there.
“You remember that time he stayed in that blond’s dorm room and the dumbass pissed her off, so she threw all his clothes out the window?” Rome asked.
I bit my lip as the memory immediately sprang to mind. Next to me, Sebastian giggled, and even Declan’s shoulders shook.
“Other students grabbed his clothes before he could get to them. He was forced to cross half the campus with one shoe and a sock on his dick.” Sebastian chuckled.
“Or that time he woke up late for an exam and we convinced him it was Thursday instead of Wednesday,” Declan murmured.