Total pages in book: 117
Estimated words: 113584 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 568(@200wpm)___ 454(@250wpm)___ 379(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113584 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 568(@200wpm)___ 454(@250wpm)___ 379(@300wpm)
He inhales, trying to calm himself down, and gets the EpiPen out of the casing. I take it in my fist, ignoring the pain in my hand to remove the cap at one end, and push it into my thigh until I hear the click, holding it, waiting, counting to three in my head slowly. I feel my heartbeat immediately slow, my throat opening up and blood coming back to my head.
“Fuck,” Jude whispers, watching me, keeping himself close. I exhale and breathe in, the air hitting my lungs feeling so good. “Did it work? How do you feel? Do I need to take you to the hospital?”
“I’m fine,” I wheeze, removing the needle and checking my leg. I fold over the counter, heavy. “I don’t need to go to the hospital. Just give me a second.”
“What?”
“I’ve been here before, Jude.”
“My God.” He comes in behind me, rubbing my back. “What can I do? Tell me what to do.”
“Shut up,” I say, breathless.
“Charming.”
I smile at the sound of his indignance and push myself up, taking in air deeply. “I’m good.”
He snorts his thoughts on that and sits back down next to me, turning my sweaty face to him and wiping my brow. “So, what now?”
“I’ll order another EpiPen with my doctor.”
“That’s it? Surely you need checking?”
“This isn’t my first rodeo.” I smirk, trying to lighten him up. It doesn’t work. “If my symptoms return, then I’ll have to go to the hospital. Trust me, okay? In all the years I’ve managed this, the EpiPen has done its job. I’ve been fine. And, bonus, you get to finish the Eton Mess.”
“Funny, I’ve lost my appetite.” He looks a bit pasty as he pushes the plates away. “And I’m never touching nuts again.”
“Why?”
“Because I’d be scared to kiss you,” he says, and I laugh. “You’re so cool about it.”
“I’ve never had an Eton Mess that contains nuts.”
Jude’s face falls. “I should have checked that. Fuck, I should have checked that.”
I reach for his hand, squeezing. “Don’t stress.”
He laughs, not in humour, and scrubs a hand down his face. I need to distract him from his misplaced guilt, and the text that lands from Abbie is the perfect way.
“We’re having dinner with my friends tomorrow night,” I tell him, allowing a small part of my brain to consider the fact that my friends are obviously keen, but for what reason? To grill him? To accept him? I fear it’s the former, but that might lead to the latter. Might. Can he take the heat?
Jude nods, taking my hand and checking the dressing. “This needs changing.”
“Then change it,” I say, giving him something to do. He looks shook. Dazed. “Jude?”
He gives me sorry eyes. “Please don’t die on me.”
What on earth? My settling heart turns in my chest, and despite not being ready, I get off the stool and put myself between his thighs, wrapping him in my arms. His raw vulnerability kills me.
And once again I think about Evelyn Harrison. And how Jude hardly ever mentions his father. “I’m not going to die.” The way he clings to me breaks my heart. Now feels like the right moment to ask about the pills, but when he pulls away and looks up at me, his face a map of pain, I just can’t bring myself to make him explain. He’s given me so much today. So I say something else instead, hoping to lift him. “I love you.”
“You came to tell me, didn’t you? The night you found Katherine here.”
I nod, feeling his rough cheeks, scanning every inch of his face.
“I’ve loved you for a while,” he says softly. “I tried to tell you so many times but couldn’t find the words.”
“We got there in the end.”
“It’s not the end.” Picking me up, he carries me back to the bedroom, laying me down and hugging me. “This hug won’t lead to sex,” he mumbles against my neck.
I sigh and sink into the mattress, Jude crowding me. Everything feels so right.
“Amelia?” he whispers.
“Yeah?”
“I’ve got you.”
“I’ve got you too,” I reply quietly. “Always.”
Chapter 13
I’ve been a nervous wreck all day at work, worrying about dinner tonight with Jude and my friends, my concentration shot to bits. I couldn’t even devote any attention to the fact that Sue mentioned in passing that she and Leo met at a friend’s anniversary party. He said they met on the golf course, while he was smiling down at his pasta, rather coy. It’s none of my business, but it would explain why Sue passed on a valuable client. Wise. And I should be wise too, so I’ve decided I know nothing about Sue and Leo.
As I’m leaving work, Leighton exits his office, and I groan to myself, bracing for a strong dose of him. It would have been too good to be true, avoiding him two days on the bounce. He joins me on my walk to the elevators. I can smell the mockery brewing on him.