Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 90951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
I free-fall through space-time, mute with regret, my stomach cramping miserably as I beg the universe to turn back the clock and give me a do-over.
Meanwhile, judging by the kaleidoscope of expressions flashing across Baylor’s face, he’s putting the pieces of this together and flying through the stages of Betrayed Sibling and Best Friend Grief at the speed of light. I watch him pass over Denial, Anger, Bargaining, and Depression like a stone skipping over the surface of a pond, only to circle back to Anger again at the end.
He’s way better at controlling his temper than he used to be, but when threatened, anger is still my brother’s default setting.
“What the hell, you guys,” he says, his voice rough, raw. “What the hell? Seriously? I guess I know who the father is now, huh?”
“We can explain,” Blue says, while I continue to stand frozen and speechless.
I literally can’t get my mouth to move, not even when Baylor snaps, “This isn’t about you, Archer. I mean it is, but…” He fixes his wounded gaze on me. “We’re family. Family, Bea. I thought you said we were going to be honest with each other from now on? I thought you were done keeping secrets from the people you love. Seriously, what did I do? What did I do to deserve being lied to and shut out of your life? And with my best friend? You had to drag him into this weird, secret-keeping thing you’re doing now?”
I pull in a breath, but once it’s in, it won’t come out again.
It sticks in my lungs, making them burn as Baylor shakes his head slowly back and forth.
“Whatever, I… I can’t do this right now.” He clears his throat as he fixes his gaze on the floor. “I have to go, Char. I’ll meet you in the parking lot.”
“Baylor, wait, I—” She breaks off with a sigh.
He’s already gone, and he’s moving fast. Barely two seconds pass before he vanishes, and the door to the bridal suite slams shut behind him.
Charlotte drags a hand through her long hair, her skin looking even paler than usual. “I have to go, too. I don’t want him to be alone when he’s this hurt. I’ll… I’ll touch base with you two later.”
She moves away. The suite door opens and shuts again. And then, the air goes silent, a heavy, aching silence that would probably make me cry if I weren’t still frozen. But I am.
Maybe, if I just refuse to move or speak, I’ll eventually wake up, and this will have all been a dream.
But it’s not, I know it’s not, even before my skin starts to goosebump in the rapidly cooling bathroom. “Fuck,” I croak.
“We really fucked this up,” Blue says.
Forcing myself to inhale, exhale, and inhale again, I finally manage in a steadier voice, “No, I fucked it up. This is my fault.”
It is.
I’m the one who made this all so much more damaging than it had to be.
And as Blue pulls me into his arms, holding me as I start to cry, I know I’m the only one who can make it right.
Chapter Twenty-Two
BLUE
You can’t always protect the people you love.
I learned that the hard way.
When I left the Children of the Storm, I knew I’d probably never see my friends or family again. I wouldn’t even be aware of the troubles they were facing, let alone be able to step in to lend a hand. Relationships with people outside the community are strictly forbidden, even for sisters and brothers, husbands and wives.
I received the notice that my marriage had been annulled in the dorm mailroom a few months after the start of classes at the University of Nebraska.
I cried. Quietly. In the empty package room.
I don’t know if Lisbeth cried. I don’t know if anything I could have said to her would have given her comfort, if she did. I wasn’t given the chance to try.
And now…
Well, there’s nothing I can say to fix the pain that has Beatrice staring out the window as I drive, her eyes glazed with regret.
I’ve already held her, told her that I love her, and promised I’ll help sort things out however she thinks is best. But Nix is her brother, and the choice to keep the father of her child a secret from him was hers. This is her battle to fight.
But fuck, it hurts to see her hurting.
To see her beating herself up and not at least try to ease her pain.
“You had a hell of a lot of your plate, Bea,” I say as we slow at a red light. “Just dealing with the fallout after Kai would have broken a lot of people. Let alone the stress of moving to a new city, writing and recording your first solo album, and accidentally getting pregnant by a guy so busy pushing you away he didn’t realize he was in love with you until you were halfway around the world.”