Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99917 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99917 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
He freezes, surprise flashing across his features before it’s replaced by frustration. “Why not? You didn’t seem to have any problems jumping into bed with my brother.”
The accusation stings, but I refuse to be shamed for my choices. “Don’t,” I warn. “You don’t get to judge me, Aries. Not after years of hot and cold, pushing me away one minute and pulling me close the next. I’m not going to have sex with you right now just because you’ve suddenly decided you want me. We need to heal some of the wrongs, work on us, and what we never had the chance to be.”
“Fuck, I understand that. I get it, but I also want you. Need you.” He lets out an almost growl and turns away from me, frustration in every line of his body.
I stand, shifting to get right in his face despite our height difference. “You don’t get to make this choice. You don’t get to tell me I’m ready for something just because you think you are. At least Arson is man enough to admit what he wants. He doesn’t play games or pretend he’s not interested in protecting me. I want you to tell me what I am to you. What I mean to you. I know it already, but there is a difference between hearing someone tell you something and knowing it based upon instinct.”
Aries’s jaw clenches, a muscle ticking in his cheek. “Is that what you think I was doing? Playing games? None of this has ever been a game. I cannot even put into words how naive you sound right now. I’m playing games, but Arson literally used you in his own twisted game of revenge to hurt me.”
“This isn’t about Arson. This is about us. What else should I call it?” I challenge. “One minute, you’re looking at me like you want to devour me, and the next, you’re pushing me away, telling me we can’t, we shouldn’t, it’s too complicated. For years, Aries. Years of mixed signals and almost moments and nothing ever happening. I can’t even describe how much your rejection hurt me.”
“I didn’t want to reject you. I wanted you. But I also wanted to do the right thing,” he argues, but there’s less conviction in his voice now. “You’re my stepsister. We grew up together. Our parents—”
“Our parents are monsters.” I cut him off. “We both know that, and I think we knew that even back then. It’s time to stop hiding behind family dynamics and propriety. That’s not why you kept pushing me away, and we both know it.”
We glare at each other, both breathing hard, neither willing to back down.
“Fine,” Aries finally says, the word forced through gritted teeth. “You want me to say it?”
“I want you to say whatever you want to say.”
“Then the truth is, I want you. I’ve always wanted you. Like the air I breathe, like the night sky needs the stars, like a fucking flower needs the sun to grow. I’ve longed to make you mine, and I hated myself every time I gave in to the selfish want and need to claim you for fear that my father would use you against me if he discovered how much you meant to me.”
The confession hangs in the air between us, raw and imperfect and entirely inadequate. But it’s more than he’s ever given me before.
“Is that it?” I ask, unable to keep the disappointment from my voice.
He knows what I’m asking for. I can see it in his eyes—the struggle, the fear, the words he can’t bring himself to say.
“No, there is more, but I can’t give you all of it right now,” he says quietly, and for a moment, the anger falls away, revealing a warm vulnerability he never allows anyone to see. “I know what you want from me, but I can’t… I’m not…”
“It’s okay. It’s fine if you can’t tell me everything right now.” I soften my voice. “But if you want this, want me, you need to accept that I won’t let you push me away anymore. Not out of this twisted desire to protect me, or any other stupid excuse you can fathom. I know I said it yesterday, but I really need you to understand that I can’t be in the middle of your hate for each other. I won’t survive it. I care about both of you too much to allow either of you to use me against the other.”
Aries’s gaze softens, and I see a flickering of guilt. “We won’t. We agreed to try to let shit go. Neither of us wants to lose you.”
I nod and take a deep breath. Last night, I thought about what a future between the three of us would look like and how there would be no room for jealousy. It made me realize that the only way to help ease that would be to ensure they both knew what the other was doing or not doing with me. “I understand that, and I was thinking about it last night, and I decided the only way to really help ease the jealousy between the two of you is to ensure that both of you know if I’m sleeping with the other one, and the only way to do that is to make you aware or have you be present during the act.”