Total pages in book: 401
Estimated words: 390373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1952(@200wpm)___ 1561(@250wpm)___ 1301(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 390373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1952(@200wpm)___ 1561(@250wpm)___ 1301(@300wpm)
“I’ve been thinking about that. I think we stick with what’s true,” Attes said. “I’m there because I don’t trust him.” He paused. “And I’ll act like I didn’t know you were going to…”
Offer myself to him.
Got it.
“I need to be able to hide this,” I said, waving the dagger. “But have easy access to it.”
“A forearm sheath,” Valyn suggested. “I can get one for you.”
“Perfect.”
Valyn met my eyes. “What can we expect once it happens?”
I glanced at Attes.
“You may feel a quake—it will be long. There will be some level of destruction, mostly limited to Pensdurth,” Attes explained. “Then there will be shockwaves. They won’t lessen until Nyktos Ascends to become the true Primal of Death.”
Valyn nodded. “What about Poppy? What will the Fates do—other than put her in a time-out.”
Attes’s jaw tightened as he glanced at me. “They will likely use eather. It won’t be pleasant.”
“I figured,” I murmured.
“I don’t know for how long,” he added. “It will depend on how angry they are. But I will get you back here before you go too deep into stasis.”
I forced a smile of thanks. “I can’t imagine the Fates will be that upset.”
“I wouldn’t take that to mean anything,” Reaver said, drawing my gaze to him. “They won’t hold back when it comes to putting you in stasis. They will right the balance.”
There wasn’t much to say after that. Valyn and Attes rose to leave, the former stopping first. “Thank you.”
I stood in the Solar’s hall. “For what?”
“For making sure my son does not go.”
Nearly choking on my breath, I nodded.
Valyn bowed his head and then stepped out.
Attes lingered in the threshold. “You okay?”
“Yes.” I squared my shoulders. “Of course.”
He eyed me for a moment, and then his gaze flicked behind me. “See you tomorrow.”
I closed the door and exhaled roughly.
“You’re a terrible liar.” Reaver’s voice carried.
Turning, I went back and dropped into the chair.
“You going to tell me what’s wrong?”
“No.”
“Okay.” He bit into the apple and gazed at the sky beyond the windows.
Neither of us spoke after that, and he left sometime later. I should’ve been mentally preparing myself for what was to come and what it would take for me to end Kolis, but my head was with my heart. Was I doing the right thing by giving Casteel his space? Should I find him? Would apologizing again help? Had I been wrong to place some of the blame on him? Question after question circled in my mind. The closest answer I could come to was that we were both at fault in varying degrees. How did one fix something like this? It was fixable, right? I didn’t know. I’d never been in a situation like this before, and I wasn’t sure who I could even go to for advice. Tawny had never been married or in a long-term relationship. I wasn’t sure about Vonetta, but she was Casteel’s friend first, and the very last thing I needed to do was shove another Contou in the middle of us.
So, I remained where I was, waiting for Casteel to return or, at the very least, Kieran. Minutes turned into hours. My muscles ached from how rigid I sat. It had to be past midnight when I forced myself to accept reality.
Neither was returning.
Did that mean Kieran had found Casteel? Or was he also mad? He hadn’t seemed that way when he left, but Kieran had always been hard to read. That hadn’t changed.
What if I’d ruined them?
The breath that left me felt like it took all the air in the chamber with it.
I pried my fingers from the arms of the chair and stood, drifting back to the bedchamber like one of the wraiths in the Dark Elms Ian had spun stories about.
I undressed silently, changed into a sleeping gown, and crawled into bed. I didn’t look toward the Cliffs. I lay on my side, facing the side Casteel slept on, and waited.
And waited, every part of me tense as if my body were poised to rise at any moment so I could go to Casteel. Anxiety and desperation crawled through me, causing my legs to shift restlessly beneath the soft blanket.
Kicking the blankets off, I rose and began pacing as my heart thumped and my stomach continuously twisted. I had no idea how long I wore a path on the floor in front of the bed before I finally crawled back under the covers. Crossing my arms, I balled my hands and drew up my legs. I held myself tight, trying to keep from breaking apart. And that was how I felt. As if I were on the edge of shattering.
I couldn’t allow that.
I clenched my jaw and blinked hard, refusing to give in to the rawness trying to claw its way free.
I couldn’t go to him.
I wouldn’t.