Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 133034 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 133034 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
I miss coming home after my sessions and talking through how filthy they were with Josh, revelling in the aftermath. I miss sharing stories, comparing our proposals.
Now it’s all one sided. Him telling me about his.
I put a finger under my chin, as though I’m pondering my options.
“Hmm, I dunno. I’ve been looking online. I could make a pretty penny out of selling dirty panties. Socks, too. Hell, I could sell anything. Even mini vials of piss. How’s that sound?”
Josh sighs. “I’m being serious.”
“So am I! I really could make something out of it, and it would force me to venture out to the post office. That would be progress, right?”
The brush of his thumb against my cheek is too much for me. I feel a thump in the guts.
“Sell your delicious panties all you want, but you also need to get your life back.”
I despise the way my tears well up.
“How can I? Connor’s well and truly fucked me over this time, and you know it.”
“You can’t let him win, Ella. He might have blurted your name and set the paps off on a mission, but the dust is settling. Tiff said they’ve fucked off from Belgravia, remember? Not a single one left in sight.”
The thought of our apartment sends a tear rolling down my cheek. I want to go home so bad it hurts. Living out of a suitcase feels anchorless. Horrible.
I’ve had people trying to reassure me all the while since the shit first hit the fan, telling me everything will be ok. Mum, Dad, Eb and Tiff. Josh’s family, too. But they’re just being optimistic.
Josh wipes my tear from my face.
“Have you been scrolling again today?”
I shake my head. “No, I stopped that.”
“Really?”
“I swear. I haven’t looked at all!”
“Ok.”
As sad as it sounds, I’ve been like a damn addict to the drama online. It’s been so easy to doom scroll through bullshit posts about Connor’s ‘evil cheat hooker ex’, reading all the hate filled comments about what a bitch I am. If only they knew the truth. I’d have never been the one to cheat on him. Not in a million years.
“I’ve been doing some scrolling myself today actually,” Josh says. “Apparently, Connor was spotted with Katie Del Francis last night. Rumours say they were snorting coke for hours off a nightclub table. He launched a shitty tirade at a security guard, and they both gave the bartenders the middle finger on their way out.”
I pull away from Josh to check his expression.
“Connor was hanging out with Katie Del Francis?! Are you serious?”
“Deadly.”
Jesus Christ, despite the shock, I can imagine it. Connor had an over inflated ego without the whole world stoking it, so by now he must be an absolute abomination. And Katie Del Francis, the crazy wild singer of Bitch Bunnies, is notorious for being an asshole. She’s surrounded by a whirlwind of gossip and bitchy rumours everywhere she goes, and it’s no surprise. She emanates a mean girl vibe from her very soul, and her interviews usually leave a foul taste in the public mouth. She’s got an ego to match Connor’s and that’s saying something. No wonder they hooked up.
“Things always move on, Ells,” Josh says. “These Connor and Katie rumours are trending like crazy, which is going to drown out the bullshit about you. You’ll barely be a memory in the public eye before long.”
“Yeah, I know. Scandals die down, people get bored…”
“But do you know? Really?”
I look him in the eye. “Yeah, I do know. This crap won’t last for ever. It can’t.”
“No, it can’t. And right now the world is talking about coke snorting and Katie Del Bitch Face, so here’s your shot.”
“My shot?”
“Yes. Take the opportunity of the distraction and use it. Grab hold of life again. You can do it.”
My heart is suddenly thumping at the prospect.
Katie Del Francis is such a controversy that she could release a fart in public and it would go viral. So take that and pair it with Connor…
“You think I can do it?” I ask Josh. “For real? You think it’s really worth the risk?”
“I don’t think. I know.”
I wish I was as confident as he is. The thought of stepping out into the world again feels alien. Terrifying.
But so fucking good.
“Do it,” Josh says and reaches for my phone. “Open up the Agency app and reinstate your calendar. Take the leap of faith.”
I take the handset from him, reeling at the fear.
“We don’t even know if I can yet. What if The Agency removed the option? What if they say I can’t have my account back? What if they’ve taken me down?”
“Only one way to find out. You know full well Orla hasn’t said anything to me about it.”
“Yeah, but she wouldn’t.”
“She shouldn’t, you mean. Not as far as official policy is concerned. But she could have.”