Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 101168 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101168 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
“What the fuck?” Amelia said, sounding gratifyingly disgusted. “What are you gonna do?”
“Hire a lot of queer strippers for the bachelorette party, that’s for sure.”
Amelia giggled appreciatively. “God, she’d be so mortified.”
Jamie relished the image of their sister’s horrified face.
“You wanna be my date and keep me sane by making fun of everything with me?”
“Of course. Unless…” Amelia waggled her eyebrows. “You and the time traveler.” She bumped her fists together.
Jamie flipped her off, but they couldn’t deny the frisson of excitement that shot up their spine at the unlikely possibility.
They shone the flashlight up wooden stairs that they wouldn’t trust with their weight, and Amelia shook her head, moving back into the main room. “This isn’t the place. Let’s go.”
***
Just because someone is hot and looks cute around cats does not indicate something fundamental about their personality. So don’t you dare base a whole-ass crush on the juxtaposition of muscles and kittens, Jamie lectured themself as they approached Take Meowt Catfé three days later.
But the first thing they saw inside was Edgar with a cat perched on each of his broad shoulders.
“Oh, this is really bad,” they muttered.
“Welcome to—” Edgar began. Then his eyes widened. “Oh, wow, hey. You came.”
Edgar’s cheeks flushed, and he turned his chin so the black cat on his right shoulder could rub its cheek against his. The small orange cat on his left shoulder, possibly aggrieved at the momentary lack of attention, took that opportunity to try and climb onto his head.
It was one of the more adorable things Jamie had ever seen. And really who was to say that being hot and looking cute around cats couldn’t mean something?
Just no spontaneous crushes.
“Need a hand?” Jamie offered. It looked like the orange one trying to climb his head was digging its claws into his scalp.
“No, they’re good. They won’t fall off.”
A pang in Jamie’s gut said that their self-directive had been ineffectual.
“Come on in, and you can meet everybody,” Edgar said.
I am only human, Jamie thought and let themself off the hook.
The space was bright and open, and a few people sipped drinks and chatted as the cats went about their business around them. One whole wall was built of a pyramid of boxes for climbing, and several huge cat trees held snoozing cats with tails ticktocking lazily over the sides of their perches. A large cat with magnificent gray fur stood on the counter as though it worked there.
“This is Henrietta Rampart.” Edgar indicated the orange cat on his head. “And this is Basket,” he said of the black cat, making a face as he said it. “I did not name her. Ridiculous name.”
“Oh?” Jamie asked.
Edgar dropped his chin, which resulted in him being nuzzled by both cats. “It seems undignified.”
“Dignity’s in the eye of the beholder,” Jamie said and raised their knuckles to Basket. “Hey, buddy.”
Basket purred and rubbed her jaw against their knuckles.
“Just be prepared, becau—”
Henrietta took their proximity as an invitation and launched herself from Edgar’s shoulder to Jamie’s. She weighed practically nothing, but her claws dug into their skin.
Jamie held still as Henrietta made biscuits on their cheek.
Edgar and Jamie stood, cats on their shoulders, facing each other.
“Well this is extremely weird,” Jamie said.
“Yeah.”
Jamie took in Edgar’s appearance beyond his adorable kitten epaulette.
Edgar wore khaki pants, a blue-and-white-striped T-shirt, and black sneakers. His dark brown hair was thick and cut short. There was nothing about his person that gave insight into his personality, interests, or style. But his brown eyes were intense, and his handsome face seemed permanently poised on the edge of wariness.
“You can meet the other cats?” Edgar suggested.
“Please. Should I leave her here?”
Henrietta purred and nuzzled their ear.
“It’s cute you think you have any control over her.”
Cute!
Edgar was a gentle giant. He handled the cats with utter care and dignity.
“Milkshake and Taco are getting adopted this week,” Edgar said, scritching under the chins of two tortoiseshell kittens.
“That’s great,” Jamie said, but Edgar sounded conflicted.
“Yeah. I’ll just miss them.”
“Must be heartbreaking to work with cats if you miss them all when they leave?”
Edgar bit his lip. “A little.”
Jamie’s heart was spared melting because at that moment, a bullet of white fur shot across the room and began to run in circles around Jamie. They tried to turn and watch it but quickly got dizzy.
“Um. Should I…be alarmed?”
“No. He’ll calm down in a minute. This is Robert McBride.”
Let me guess, you named him.
“How do you pick their names?” Jamie asked.
Edgar frowned, regarding the cat. “He just seemed like a Robert McBride.”
“Okay, if you could rename the cats whose names you don’t like, what do they seem like to you?”
Edgar sat down on the floor next to Jamie, careful not to jostle Basket. Robert McBride lost interest in zooming around and flopped in the middle of the floor like a rag doll.