Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 81207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
“It’s just a broken ankle.” I shrug, though it feels like a whole lot more than that. Denial, denial, denial.
Donovan pushes to his feet and starts pacing. “This time. But what happens if next time it’s not? What if you get sick? Or get hurt worse? Or a million other things that can happen. I’ve seen people die because they couldn’t afford medical treatment and…” His words break off. Donovan stops moving with his back to me, his hand covering his face.
My heart breaks, guilt engulfing me like an avalanche, but…it’s not that easy either. “I told you, Cliff couldn’t afford to offer it, and it’s expensive paying for coverage on your own.” But the truth is, I didn’t have to work for Cliff. I made the choice to lose insurance by going to work with him.
Donovan turns around, head cocked slightly, eyes pinched in concern. I look away.
“How serious are your money problems?”
This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. “Well, clearly, I’m not suffering too much.” I have a roof over my head, food in my kitchen, pay for my gym membership and things like that. “But…Cliff has been having trouble pulling in enough work.”
I say a quiet thank-you when I don’t get an I told you so. Much like I always hated Malcolm, Donovan has always hated Cliff, the difference being Cliff is just my friend—acquaintance, really—and Donovan had been in love with Malcolm. Bile still climbs up my throat at the thought of that.
“What is he doing about it?” Donovan asks.
The truth is, not much. “He’s…not being as proactive as he should be. I’ve come up with a hundred ideas, but he never follows through. If I could just get him to work on some of my ideas with me, maybe it would help, but he gets defensive every time I talk to him about it.” It seems now that I’ve started speaking, I don’t know how to stop. This is what happens when I keep things from Donovan too long; they come spilling out of me like water breaking down a dam. “And I have to sign a new lease on my apartment next month, and of course my rent is going up. I was thinking about trying to get my old job back, but I called them, and they aren’t hiring. I’m so fucked, and that was before the ankle.”
Donovan sighs. “Jesus, babe. Why didn’t you tell me?” He walks over and sits on the edge of the couch beside me.
Because I never should have quit my stable job to work with Cliff? Because Donovan told me from the start it was a bad idea? Because it makes me feel like an idiot? All those things are true, but I know him well enough to know he would never have said anything to make me feel that way. “I don’t know. I was embarrassed, I guess.”
His brows push together. “With me? You never have to be embarrassed with me.”
“I know.” And I do, but being human is complicated and hard. “I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to take care of me.”
“What? I don’t feel that way. I would never feel like that. You saved my life when I was growing up. I would have been miserable without you. Do you know how many times I would have been stuck home in pain and alone if it wasn’t for you? But I never had to be alone because I had you. I’ll never be able to repay you for everything you’ve given me.”
This time, it’s me who rolls his eyes. “You don’t owe me anything. All I did was be your friend.”
“Which is everything.”
Oh. Well, that feels good to hear. “I am pretty cool.” I give him a small grin.
“You’re the best.”
“I’m not arguing.”
“You dork.” He nudges my arm with his.
“Ouch!” I grab ahold of my side, and his eyes widen.
“I’m sorry. How did I… You asshole.” He gives me the finger when he realizes I’m kidding, then gets serious. “We’re here for each other. This is what we do. You were there for me when I was growing up, and you supported me after Malcolm. Let me be there for you this time. I feel bad that I said all of those things about not having insurance. I know it’s not your fault. The system is flawed and leaves so many people behind.”
But the thing is, in this situation, it is my fault. Again, it was my choice.
“Let me be there for you,” Donovan says again.
“I can’t take your money.” I don’t have it in me to do that.
“I know.” He gives me a small smile. “But what you can do is move in with me. Then you don’t have to worry about all the bills that go along with your apartment. It’ll be fun to live together again.” I open my mouth to argue, but he cuts me off. “You can help me with stuff too. I eat terribly when you’re not around. Plus…I don’t really like living alone.”