Total pages in book: 159
Estimated words: 149301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 747(@200wpm)___ 597(@250wpm)___ 498(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 149301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 747(@200wpm)___ 597(@250wpm)___ 498(@300wpm)
“…What if I decide not to go?”
“I doubt you’ll choose that option, darlin’. You’re not stupid.” He glared at her. She shrank in her seat.
He pulled out his phone and dialed. “Jasper, I need you to send the cleaners to Lorna Wilde’s trailer, please. Seems there was a bit of an accident with her significant other.”
“On it.”
Disconnecting the call, he waved goodbye to her, stepped over Hank’s rotting body, and made his way back to the car.
Once he was in the backseat of the vehicle being driven away, he pulled out a tri-folded piece of paper and re-read the part that he enjoyed the most…
Refined Clause: “If the landowner, Kage Wilde, holds a property trust, and any of the following individuals—a blood relative, an inheritor of legal age, or an ex-spouse—files a claim on the estate within twenty-five (25) years following the finalization of the divorce decree, said claim may be considered valid under the following circumstances: Unpaid Financial Obligations: The landowner has failed to fulfill court-mandated alimony, child support payments, or other financial responsibilities outlined in the divorce decree. Hardship Clause: The claimant can demonstrate significant financial hardship directly resulting from the dissolution of the marriage. In such cases, the plaintiff may argue for forfeiture of the land to compensate for damages, unpaid obligations, or breach of the divorce settlement.”
He chuckled as he folded the paper back up.
Kage, you never paid alimony like you were ’spose to. You’ve got to read the tiny print, my boy. Now, she’s got a way in. The land is as good as gone, and to think this almost expired before I got wind of it! Thank you, Lord! God sure works in mysterious ways…
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Of Moose and Men
They were like an assembly line. A well-oiled machine. They could properly gauge each other’s next movement and thought. Poet tossed three more fresh catfishes into the bucket. Running the knife beneath the hot stream of water, she grabbed one of the fish that was drying on the rack and began removing the scales like an expert. Kage stood beside her, chopping onions.
‘Pride and Joy’, by Stevie Ray Vaughan poured from the speakers, pumping the bluesy sound throughout his kitchen. They worked in tandem, preparing a nice dinner. He’d spent a few hours fishing by his river early that morning before work, and she came over after her long workday so they could get their weekend started right.
“Is your period over?”
“Gotdamn, Kage, how many times are you going to question me about this?!” She chortled, looking a cross between exasperated and outraged, though she laughed all the same. “You’ve been asking me that all week!”
“And now I’m askin’ today!”
“Don’t think I forgot about you callin’ a few days ago to tell me you got busy and couldn’t come by after I told you I had to stop by the drugstore and pick up some pads. Suddenly, something came up, huh?!” She rolled her eyes. “Liar. You ain’t shit.” She laughed.
“What was the point of me drivin’ all that way if you weren’t going to put out?” She leaned back and placed her hand on her hip, aghast. “I mean, I love you and all, but let’s not play make-believe here. Pussy is supposed to be part of the package,” he teased, moving out of the way when she tried to reach over and pinch him. “Is it finally gone? I’m serious. It has to end sometime. You’re not Jesus… it shouldn’t go on for forty days and forty nights.” The woman visibly sucked her teeth and began scraping the fish incredibly hard. “When I tried this before, you stopped me. I said, hell, we can just put down a towel, but you didn’t want that, because you don’t like havin’ intercourse on your period. I respected your wishes, and said fine, I’d wait. I’ve waited each and every time, and now I want to have sex with my girlfriend. Is that a crime?”
“In the criminal justice system, sexually based harassment by a man named Kage Wilde during his girlfriend’s cycle is considered especially heinous. In Houston, Texas, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious aggravations towards Poet Constantine are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories. Duh! Duh!”
They both cracked up.
“Yes… if you must know,” she dramatically rolled her eyes, “it’s over. That reminds me of an anecdote I heard. You wanna hear a gross joke?” she asked with a cheeky smile. Her eyes fixed on the floppy fish as she tenderly grazed it with the sharp side of her knife.
“Gross? I don’t know if I do.” He smirked then grabbed a green pepper and began slicing it, too.
“A vampire walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender. He says, ‘Hey, I’d like a cup of hot water, please.’ The bartender looks at him in confusion and responds, ‘A cup of hot water? I thought you guys only drank blood?’ The vampire held up a bloody tampon and said, “Tonight I am having tea!’” She leaned into the counter, cracking herself up. All he could do was stare at her writhing about, turning red.