Total pages in book: 159
Estimated words: 149301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 747(@200wpm)___ 597(@250wpm)___ 498(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 149301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 747(@200wpm)___ 597(@250wpm)___ 498(@300wpm)
“That’s when I snapped. I cracked.” She turned away, and thought about her options. She could see Kage staring at her from the corner of her eye. I can stop right here… I can tell him I don’t want to discuss this any further. If I do that though, then I’m not standing completely in my truth. I have one foot in and one foot out.
She took a deep breath, and continued.
“She was verbally attacking my Aunt Huni and laughing at her; that was the final straw. During all of the commotion, I ran back to that tray, the one with the lemonade and cookies, picked up the knife… and I… I stabbed Mrs. Stamford in the back! Over and over again!” The words felt strange leaving her mouth, as if someone else was talking. Kage’s expression remained impassive. “It took both Huni and my uncle to get me off of her. There was blood everywhere. I was slippin’ and slidin’ in it! The walls. The floor. Me. Mrs. Stamford lay there on the floor, gurgling and shakin’. And then, she stopped moving.” A tear streamed down her cheek as Hozier’s, ‘To Be Alone’ punctuated the moment. “Everything after that was a blur… Police sirens, the ambulance, Mrs. Stamford’s husband came home and started wailing. Crying out for God. She was dead. I just knew it. My Aunt Huni was holding me in her arms, pressing me to her bosom. I wasn’t going to move or run anyhow. I felt cold. Indifferent. Apathetic and uncaring. ’Cause I didn’t care. I was unfeeling. Slothful. I’ll never forget that sensation. Feels like air, but you aren’t flying…
“The police pried me away from her. She was yelling and screaming for me as they carried me away. I killed her, Kage,” she sobbed. “I killed somebody. You can’t erase it. You can’t take it back. What is done is done. I can’t sew on pretty glass eyes for her, so she can see again! I can’t stuff her with cotton and set her on display in the museum!”
“…Baby, I understand. We’re the same.” He spoke so softly, so sweetly as he reached for her.
“No, see, you attempted to kill your grandfather, but I really went through with it! Something was wrong with me! What child does somethin’ like that, huh? I became the savage she said I was! A monster! I… I couldn’t believe it! It was on the news, but because I was a minor, my name was never publicized. In court, a brave teacher from that daycare stepped forth out of the blue, in the nick of time, and said she found some disturbing pictures and videos inside Ms. Stamford’s locker after her death. They were photos of me, and a few other children, being tormented by her.” She swallowed. “That changed the direction of the case.
“Her husband had filed a lawsuit against my aunt and uncle for her death, but after that evidence came out of his wife being a sadomasochistic sicko who secretly hated children, especially minority children, he dropped it real fast and moved away. The other children in the photos weren’t White, either. That’s what my aunt told me since I wasn’t allowed in the courtroom most of the time—only to testify. That was another rough day. I had to relive it, but I got through it. Those other kids? I didn’t know them; they were at the daycare long before me, from my understanding. She’d been doing this for a while. Somethin’ was wrong with Mrs. Stamford… and I put a stop to it!”
She looked at her hands now, turning them about as if she didn’t know who they belonged to, as if she were looking at someone else’s fingers. “I had never thought of killin’ nobody before that, Kage. I must’ve had some evil in me… Something dark and all wrong. No therapist can explain that part to me. Explain how someone so young could think to do such a thing. As I got older, I was told it was because I was traumatized. PTSD. It was out of fear of her gettin’ away with it. It was a lot of things. And you know what the worst part is? I smiled right after I did it.” She nodded and blinked back tears. “The same way she smiled at my Aunt Huni when she said those awful things!
“I didn’t feel bad about killing her, Kage, and I don’t feel bad now! But I should! I know I really should. I smiled at that husband while the police were carrying me away… I looked him dead in the eye, with his wife lyin’ there on that floor lifeless, the knife still stickin’ out of her back, and I smiled, Kage. You think I’m a monster, don’t you? DON’T YOU?!” Tears covered her face. Not sad tears but angry tears. Purged tears.