Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
I tried to chalk it up to stress, which certainly can impede someone’s ability to fully immerse themselves in a sexual experience. I went to sleep that night praying it was just one bad day.
But the next day had been almost exactly the same. While he’d kissed me before he left for work that morning, he’d once again worked so late that I didn’t get to see him until we lay in bed together. Things got progressively worse over the week that followed.
Then a few days ago, Dorian had announced that he was going to have to travel to London for business. This was the first time he’d left me alone in this house since the day he arrived after his father’s death.
As much as I hadn’t wanted to be alone and had dreaded his leaving, I had no choice but to accept it. I’d just wished I hadn’t had the weird feeling that something was off before he had to go. It made me worry that perhaps he wasn’t being forthright about the reason for the trip.
Once Janelle arrived, she sat across from me in the kitchen, leaning her elbows on the table. I could tell by her face that I’d alarmed her.
“Have you asked him directly if he’s lying to you?”
I shook my head. “I’ve been afraid to confront him about his change in behavior because I don’t want him to think I don’t trust him.”
“But clearly you don’t.”
“I did trust him—until he changed.”
“Well, the sooner you bring it up with him, the better. You can’t continue to live like this.”
“I know you’re right. But I don’t want to make things more difficult for him if he’s going through a lot at work. I feel like I shouldn’t start the conversation until he gets back.”
“That’s your prerogative, if you can wait that long. It doesn’t sound like you’re handling the unknown very well.”
“Clearly not, but I don’t think any serious conversation should happen while he’s away. You can tell a lot by looking into someone’s eyes.”
She nodded. “I agree with you there. When does he come home?”
“He didn’t give me an exact day, but I’m hoping by the end of this coming week.”
Janelle sighed. “For your sake, I hope so, too.”
I felt sick. Sometimes you don’t need to be told when something is wrong.
You just know.
***
With each day that passed, I felt worse about my impending reunion with Dorian. I’d made up my mind to confront him the moment he got home.
In the meantime, I’d decided to test the waters and see what would happen if I stopped initiating communication with him. After two days went by that he didn’t call, my nervousness transformed into anger. On top of that, he’d yet to give me a clear answer on when he was returning from London.
So the last thing I expected was for him to walk in the door before the end of the week.
But that’s what happened on Thursday evening. I’d just gotten out of the shower and jumped at the sight of Dorian standing in our bedroom.
Hand on my chest, I gasped. “You scared the shit out of me.”
He looked down at his feet. “I’m sorry.”
Alarm bells sounded in my head. He hadn’t initiated a hug or kiss. After such a long time away, you’d think he would’ve been more affectionate.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?”
“I only realized this morning that I was booking a flight.”
“So you wanted to…surprise me? You nearly killed me from a heart attack.”
As I could now look in his eyes again, I was absolutely certain something had changed in him. Dread filled me, and every wall I could build around me went straight up. He hadn’t spoken yet, but the worst had already been confirmed, even if I didn’t understand it.
This was not the Dorian I knew. The look in his eyes was hard to describe—a mix of despair and sheer blankness. Empty. Devoid of all emotion, but almost in a forced way. Like he wasn’t allowing himself to feel anything for fear that if he did, he’d break.
My heart felt like it was breaking. “I need you to tell me what’s going on.”
His face reddened. His eyes became glassy. As Dorian Vanderbilt stood before me on the verge of tears, I sensed my world as I knew it was ending.
His voice shook. “I’m so sorry, Rosebud.”
The only word I could conjure was, “Explain…”
He looked down, then met my eyes again. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be in a relationship with you.”
The room swayed. I’d known in my gut that this might’ve been coming, but there was no way to prepare for those words. No way to prepare for the end of the only love I’d ever known.
As I stood there in shocked silence, he continued. “It has nothing to do with you. You’re amazing. I—”