Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
“Your mother was a wise woman.”
“Sitting here in this spot reminds me of her. So it’s weird that you said that on top of it. It’s like she’s coming through or something.”
“Maybe she is, for all we know.”
He steeped his tea as he looked down. “I used to get up in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep and find her sitting alone here in the kitchen. Instead of telling me to go back to bed, she’d pour me some milk and we’d talk—right here in this same spot where you and I are now. It would calm me down, and I’d fall asleep easily after that.”
A warm feeling came over me as my eyes began to water. “Mothers are the best.”
He ran his thumb along the mug. “What happened to your mom?”
“Cancer. She was only sick for a short time.”
He nodded. “My mother too.”
“Yeah. Benjamin had mentioned that.”
“Well, she struggled with it for a while. So it wasn’t short. But it was cancer.”
“That must’ve been so hard for both you and your dad.”
Dorian looked away. “He loved her, but he didn’t know how to be faithful. That’s something I never forgave him for.”
My stomach sank. This was the first I’d heard of Remington being a cheater. I wondered if Christina knew he’d cheated on his first wife. Had he been loyal to my aunt? I took a sip. “Why do men cheat?”
“I’ve been asking myself that question for years. But I think ultimately, it’s ego—a feeling that you’re somehow entitled to a certain amount of gratification, even if it hurts others.”
I hesitated. “Have you ever cheated on anyone?”
He shook his head. “Can’t cheat if you’re not in relationships.”
“You’ve never had a girlfriend?”
“Not since high school. And I didn’t cheat back then, no. I was a nerd in those days. Lucky to even have a girlfriend, let alone play the field. Not sure I would’ve known how to be a player.”
“I can’t picture you as a nerd.”
“I didn’t grow into myself until my late teens.”
“What about now? Are you a player?”
“I’m not interested in monogamy, if that’s what you’re asking.”
That was a letdown; although maybe it was the reality check I needed to squelch any remaining delusion that something could happen between him and me.
“I’m the opposite, actually,” I said. “A serial monogamist. I don’t know how to just casually date someone. If I like him, I get attached, and I want him to myself. If I sense that’s not what he wants, though, I detach myself for fear of getting hurt.”
Dorian leaned his elbows on the table. “How many times have you had to do that?”
“Pretty much every time I’ve had a boyfriend, I’ve broken up with him before he had a chance to do me wrong. At the same time, I don’t like to just date casually. So, there you go. Perpetually single.”
“How do you know when to break up with them?”
“It’s a feeling that I’m getting in over my head. The need to protect myself kicks in.”
“Well, you’re too young to be tied down anyway. You should enjoy your life a little first.”
“I don’t think it’s about age,” I said. “If you find the right person, you find the right person, whether you’re twenty or sixty. But I agree that I could stand to let loose a bit more. I’m definitely too young to be staying in most nights.”
His eyes widened. “You never go out?”
“Well, I wait tables a few nights a week and meet a lot of guys on the job. But I find I’m also not so good at picking up signals. It would be much easier if someone would just say, ‘I’m flirting with you.’”
“Wouldn’t life be easier if everyone gave clear signals? I’m lying to you. I’m cheating on you. I’m using you. Instead, we’re expected to blindly judge people based on instinct, which may or may not be influenced by what we want to see.”
I nodded. “You’re right. So often I want to see the good in people, but I’m consistently disappointed.”
“So you surround yourself with monkeys instead.” He grinned.
“You’ve got my number.” I winked. “The monkeys in my head are far superior to humans, yes. Although I was forced to work on a human this week.”
“That’s right!” He pointed at me. “The nude portrait.”
“Yep.” I sighed.
“Didn’t go well?”
“It didn’t.”
“Balls weren’t low enough?”
I laughed. “The balls were okay. But apparently, I freeze when you show me a penis.”
He bent his head back in laughter. “I thought you said you were up for that challenge.”
“Yeah, well, I suppose it’s different when you’re slapped in the face with it.”
“Not gonna touch that.”
“Figuratively, of course.” I took a sip of my tea.
“Was he…well-endowed at least?”
“He wasn’t hard. So not sure what his potential would’ve been.”
“Potential. That doesn’t sound too complimentary.”
“Take that how you may.”