Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 92371 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92371 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
“I want to make new memories in New York with you. Right now, all I have are memories of him there with me.”
“Good thing you’re making it down the aisle this time. Then we’ll move to New York, and make all new memories.” I smile with confidence.
Sometimes I feel like she’s searching for my insecurities, baiting me with her past lovers.
“Why don’t you ever talk about the women you loved before me?”
I lift a single eyebrow. “Because I value my life.”
“Stop.” She laughs while punching my shoulder. “I’m serious. Give me something. A little jealousy is good in a relationship. When you say I’m the first girl to steal your heart, I don’t believe you. There has to be someone who took a little piece of it before me. A high school crush? A sexy college professor with black-framed glasses and big breasts?”
I chuckle, unsure if it’s specifically Blair who’s obsessed with this subject or if all women insist on obsessing over past lovers. Then again, it’s possible that my feelings for Alice border obsession.
“Come on, Murphy. Make me jealous. Make me want to get back here as soon as possible, because I can’t stop thinking about you and your first love.”
“Or you can want to get back to me because you think we’re each other’s last love and that’s all that matters.” I feel proud of my comment. It’s romantic. Right?
Blair deflates, proving my assumption is incorrect, so I give her something.
“The rental I owned?”
She nods.
“I had a guest. A woman. We formed an unusual bond. I was intrigued by so many things about her; but she was …” I shrug. “Elusive. And it felt like a mix of love and bad timing. Ultimately, it didn’t feel real.”
“A guest? How long did she stay?”
“Two weeks.”
Blair’s face wrinkles. “You fell in love with someone in two weeks?”
“Well, at the time, I would have said yes.”
“And now?”
“And now I’m in love with you. The end.”
“Murphy, there has to be more. Did she love you back? How did it end? Why did it end?”
“I don’t know if she loved me. And it ended”—I twist my lips and search for the answer that I still don’t know to this day—“tragically. But I don’t know why.”
“Tragically? Did she die?”
“No. She left and never came back. I waited, but she never returned.”
Blair squints. “Did you call or text her?”
“No. She said she couldn’t give me her number until she returned. Of course, I didn’t understand why, but she asked me to trust her. And I did. So the only contact I had was through the rental app. But she never replied.”
“So she could have died, right? Or she was married. Murphy, she was married.” Blair gasps. “That’s it. That’s why she didn’t give you her number. Maybe she planned on leaving her husband for you, but then she changed her mind. Oh, babe, that’s so sad. Especially since you loved her and waited for her.”
I force a smile. “I’m with you, so I think you should call it fate instead of feeling bad for me.”
“I do think it’s fate.” She pecks at my lips. “But it’s also bizarre to think you fell in love in two weeks. It took more than six months for you to confess your love to me.” She teases the nape of my neck. “But maybe you loved me long before you said it. Did you fall in love with me in two weeks?”
I smile, interlacing my fingers behind her back.
“I mean,” she pauses with a nervous chuckle, “don’t respond so quickly.”
I lean forward to kiss her, but she pulls back. “Murphy, I’m serious. When did you know you loved me?”
“I don’t know. It just sort of happened. There wasn’t an exact moment that I knew.”
“Yet, you just said you fell for this woman in two weeks.”
“Blair,” I sigh, “why are we doing this?”
“Doing what? Talking? Opening up to each other?”
“Opening a can of worms.”
She frowns. “Why is it a can of worms? She’s gone, dead, or whatever. What’s wrong with knowing about your past?”
“Because you don’t just want to know about it. You want to compare everything to us. If I compared everything in your past to us, I probably wouldn’t marry you.”
She winces. “What’s that supposed to mean? Now you sound like my father. Do you think I’m going to break off the engagement?”
I rest my face in my hands and grumble. She pulls them away, forcing me to look at her.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I shouldn’t have asked. But now I can’t un-know that you loved another woman more than you love me. And if she wouldn’t have left you, we probably wouldn’t be together.”
“That’s such a stretch, Blair. Why? What is the purpose? More than I love you? Why the sudden insecurity?”
She climbs off my lap. “Wow. That’s your response?”