Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 92371 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92371 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
I shake my head. “I’m kidding, just testing you.”
She straightens my tie. “What kind of test is that?”
“Okay, not a test, just a bad joke. Sorry.”
She offers her cheek, and I kiss it.
It’s a nice cheek.
She’s a nice woman.
Our life will be … nice.
Chapter Fifteen
Alice
Moms don’t see their children’s flaws.
They see opportunities for growth
“Hey,” I say, calling my mom while staring out the window at the sunset over the lake. People and their dogs still milling around the grass and making a final effort to get 10K steps in for the day.
“Hi. How’s my girl?” Mom asks.
I put her on speaker and sigh. “I’ve been better.”
“Oh? What’s wrong?”
For the first time since seeing Murphy again, I get tears in my eyes. “Nothing,” I murmur.
“Doesn’t sound like nothing. Don’t keep it inside. You should know that by now.”
Again, I sigh. Everything about Murphy right now is one big sigh. “The guy I was with eight years ago at the vacation rental, before I went to the facility …”
“The one who called us?” Mom asks.
“Yes.”
“What about him?”
“He’s the future son-in-law of the couple I’m working for. He and his fiancée are living with her parents for the summer.” I push back my emotions.
“Oh. That’s a small world. Does he remember you?”
“Yeah.” I bite my thumbnail, watching the Morrisons leave for dinner.
“Did you thank him for calling us?”
“Not exactly. Do you remember when I said I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready to share things I discussed in therapy?”
“I do. And I haven’t pressured you, have I?”
“No. I’m just bringing it up because I want to tell you something.”
“Alice, sweetie, you can tell me anything.”
I turn away from the window and sit in the recliner, tucking my feet under me. “I was romantically involved with him.”
“With who? The guy who called us?”
“Yes.”
“The one who’s getting married?” she asks, as if it’s ridiculous.
“Yes.”
“Alice, you were—”
“I know, Mom,” I whisper. This hurts. The secrets. The lies. The hearts that were broken. So many wrongs that can never be righted. “It’s unimaginable,” I continue, “maybe even unforgivable, that I did that so soon after …” I still hate saying the words, so I don’t. “I just needed an escape. I needed to pretend that it didn’t happen, that my life was different. So I painted a new reality for two weeks. It wasn’t planned. It just happened. And I didn’t feel dead inside. And that felt so good.”
“You were in denial.”
I nod to myself. “Yes,” I whisper.
“Alice, I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I feel your disappointment. Who does what I did?”
“Oh, no, sweetie. That’s not it. I’m not disappointed in you. I’m heartbroken for you and disappointed in myself. A mother should know when her child is struggling and unwell. And I just …”
“You were grieving too.”
She doesn’t respond.
“It was in the past. I moved on. But now he’s here.”
“What does this guy and his fiancée think of you working for her parents?”
“I don’t know what he thinks because I haven’t let him know that I remember him.”
“What? Why on earth not?”
“Because he’s engaged. And I really like this job. Not to mention the free rent and great pay. So I don’t want to lose it or make things awkward. And what if he hasn’t told Blair, his fiancée, about me? Also, I still don’t remember the details of that night, so all I have is what you’ve told me. What would I say? ‘Hi! Remember me, the woman who lost her mind from PTSD and ended up in a mental hospital?’”
“I can’t believe you never told me about your relationship with him.”
I wrinkle my nose. “What do you mean? Why is that so surprising? I was ashamed of what I had done to everyone.”
“You didn’t do anything.”
“I left!” I sigh, rubbing my temples. “I left,” my tone softens. “Escaped when everyone else had to deal with reality. I didn’t let anyone be there for me, and I wasn’t there for anyone else.”
“Alice, it was awful. No one blamed you for leaving. We knew you’d come back.”
I grunt a laugh. “I came back in pieces.”
“And your pieces have been put back together.”
“And I’m working near the one person who could unglue every single one of them.”
“Alice, what are you talking about? So you had sex with a stranger because you weren’t yourself. That was eight years ago. It’s not like you fell in love with him.”
I don’t respond.
“Alice?”
“Huh?”
“You didn’t fall in love with him, did you?”
Chapter Sixteen
Alice
Reality is what we make it,
so make it unforgettable.
Eight Years Earlier …
“Stop!” I squealed as Murphy chased me through the living room, around the sofa, up the two stairs to the dining room, and around the table in only his black underwear and white crew socks.
I wore his Vikings T-shirt, and I may have suggested the Packers were a superior team.