Total pages in book: 32
Estimated words: 30544 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 153(@200wpm)___ 122(@250wpm)___ 102(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 30544 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 153(@200wpm)___ 122(@250wpm)___ 102(@300wpm)
“Dawson! Merry Christmas. We only have a few minutes. We’re on our way to a holiday party.”
“Oh,” I reply, but she doesn’t hear the frustration in my voice. I’m too old to care that my family isn’t close, but it still bothers me. “I just wanted to say hi and merry Christmas.”
“Hi to you too. We miss you!”
Do they? I can’t help wondering if they really do.
“What are you doing this year?” she asks. “Are you alone?”
Funny that she didn’t think to ask me before now. “No, Mom. I’m not alone. I’m with a guy, actually…and his family. A guy I really like.”
“That sounds nice, dear. I’m glad you’re having a fun holiday. It’s beautiful here! We’ve done lots of skiing.”
She doesn’t ask who the guy is, if we’re dating, or anything else. Again, I know my parents love me, but they’re also so…detached, and they always have been.
We talk for a couple more minutes before my dad yells that it’s time to go. Mom tells him she’s talking to me, and he gives me a merry Christmas through her, and…that’s it. The call is over.
I don’t let myself think about it too much, don’t let myself focus on anything that will bring me down, and call Nathan next.
“Hey, little bro!” He sounds joyful and like he’s been doing a lot of holiday partying.
“I’m only younger by three minutes.”
“You’re still younger,” he says, like we always do. “Merry Christmas. You totally should have come to Miami with me. It’s been a blast. Beautiful people everywhere! I spent the night with the most gorgeous man.”
I know it’s unfair of me to be annoyed, but it’s not as if he and Briar broke up that long ago, and he’s already hooking up? Ugh. I hate the way I’m thinking. He’s single. There’s nothing wrong with him having sex with anyone he wants, but…I don’t understand having Briar and not wanting him.
I would want him.
I do want him.
And these past couple of days, every time he looks at me, I can’t help wondering if maybe he wants me too.
“Do you have a minute? Can I tell you something?”
Nathan’s voice is more serious when he asks, “Is everything okay?” While we’re different in a lot of ways, I know my brother will always have my back. He’s protective of me and always has been. He cares about people, even if he’s not always good at showing it.
“Yeah, just…” I rub a hand over my face. Shit. Am I really doing this? “I, um…like Briar…have feelings for him, I mean. Briar as in your ex,” I finish lamely.
“I didn’t think we both knew another Briar,” he says with a chuckle. “Does he like you too?”
“I don’t know. Maybe? I actually went home with him…to Maine. It’s just a friend thing, but I…I want more. I’m hoping to tell him that, but I didn’t want to do it without talking to you first.”
He sighs, the background noise quieting, as if he went into a different room. “Okay…well, I guess that’s kinda weird. Why didn’t you tell me before I started dating him?”
“Because it all happened so quickly? And because if the two of you really liked each other, then I didn’t think it should matter how I feel.”
“It always matters how you feel, Dawson. You’re my brother.”
His response makes me feel even more guilty for not trusting him…and for crushing on his ex-boyfriend. “Thank you. I didn’t think anything would ever happen. And maybe it won’t. If it’s too weird for you, I won’t say anything, but…”
“But you like him a lot.”
“Yes, I do,” I answer honestly.
“I think…I think he’s a good fit for you and you for him. Better than he and I ever were. If he would make you happy, go for it. That’s all I want for you, ya know? We might be different in a lot of ways, but you’re my twin and I love you.”
I whoosh of air escapes my lungs, the weight I’d been carrying immediately lighter. “I love you too, Nathan. And nothing might come of it.”
“Yeah, but it might. He’d have to be crazy not to want you. You’re boyfriend material, little bro. Maybe it’s time you realize that.”
I hope he’s right, and damn, do I appreciate him for saying that.
“I’m gonna go, all right? You have fun and get your man. As for me, there’s a whole lot of fish in the sea, especially in Miami, and I don’t plan on settling down anytime soon.”
I laugh. It’s such a Nathan thing to say.
We hang up, a boost of confidence filling my veins.
I’m tired of not going for what I want. I’m tired of sitting around and watching life pass me by. It’s partly why I agreed to come with Briar on this trip.
I want Briar to be my boyfriend, for real, and before this trip is over, I plan to tell him.