Total pages in book: 22
Estimated words: 22067 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 110(@200wpm)___ 88(@250wpm)___ 74(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 22067 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 110(@200wpm)___ 88(@250wpm)___ 74(@300wpm)
"I'm not an idiot, Therese. There's always something more to your offer."
A moment passes before she completely relaxes with a laugh. It's exactly what I'm hoping for...since rejecting her outright would have gained me an enemy for life.
"Weigh your options then..." Therese's fingers slowly trail up my chest as she speaks, and it's a struggle not to shove her away. "And call me once you've made up your mind."
She walks away, and I watch her doing so because I know it will hurt her pride if I do anything else.
Shame eats me alive when I realize how low I've sunk, and how I've ended up playing the same dirty game as everyone else here. I may not have yet reached a point of selling myself, but wasn't that only a matter of time, with how I've been making compromises left and right?
And all for what, dammit?
To maintain my reputation as one of East Coast's most successful lawyers? To prove to everyone that I don't need my father's billions to make a name for myself? Is gaining another meaningless milestone in my career worth losing sight of what matters?
And when I finally turn to start looking for Shayla—
She's gone.
And that's when I realize how big a mistake I've made.
My parents were crazy about each other. But then all of a sudden, they just...weren't.
That was what she said about the two people she had trusted as a child...only to have them shatter her trust in relationships.
You're driving me crazy, Shayla. I want you. More than I've ever wanted anyone.
And that's what I told her.
The man she's worked for all these years.
And even though she's never said it—
We both knew she's always respected me. Looked up to me. Trusted me.
And in return, I told her I was crazy about her...only to allow another woman to touch me like my own body were a commodity.
Chapter Nine
SHAYLA
I ONLY REALIZE WHERE my feet have taken me when the front door opens, and a startled Hope lets me in. "Shayla?"
And I only realize why I'm here the moment I see her surprise turn to concern. "What is it?"
Ever since my parents' divorce, I've been determined to do things on my own.
To prove to everyone that I'm strong and independent, and that no one has any reason to look down on me even though I've come from a broken family.
I don't even like saying that word.
Broken.
Every time I hear someone talk about my family like that, it makes me feel they think I'm broken, too, by default.
And so I've made it a point never to ask for help.
Until now.
Because I think...
I really think I'm about to break.
"Oh, Shay."
Hope gets me inside, and I'm not sure how long I end up crying in their living room. I can't even make myself care that her husband's there to witness my breakdown.
I'm just so tired.
So, so tired of pretending to be strong when I'm really not.
And these two.
It's, like, they know exactly when and when not to speak.
They're perfect, really.
Either that...or it's just like Hope says, and God's the reason why they are how they are.
What about me, God?
What about me?
Is my life the way it is because it's how You want it?
"Shay?"
And there it is again.
Hope interrupting my thoughts at the right moment...and stopping me from making accusations that even I know are unfair and baseless.
"What happened?" Hope glances at her husband. "Maybe you should—"
I shake my head. "He should probably stay. Maybe he can share a guy's perspective or something."
"Then I'll stay for as long as I'm needed."
Colin's voice is quiet and gentle.
It's actually how I wish my father would have talked to me, the day he and Mom decided to separate. And just remembering this brings fresh tears to my eyes.
I'm so, so tired.
Just so, so tired of bottling everything up inside me—
"I don't know what to do..."
The words come out in a rush, and after that, the truth. Me being silly and stubborn when I insisted on pretending that nothing had changed. And after that, me being impulsive and shamefully weak when temptation got the better of us. And after that...
Tonight is what hurts the most. Because when he told me I was driving him crazy, I believed him. So why was he okay with Therese pawing him like that? Had he been lying to me all this time? When I allowed him to touch me that night...had that been enough to make the novelty of having me gradually wear off? Had I stopped being a challenge, and that was why I had lost interest? Was this God's way of—
"You need to stop beating yourself up over what happened, Shay."
Hope squeezes my hand as she speaks, and her words make me feel like I'm slowly emerging from this world of darkness that I didn't even realize I had been trapped in.