Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 107407 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 430(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107407 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 430(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Dogs bark in the distance, and a soft breeze bends the tall trees surrounding our property as if they’re bowing to listen in.
“Z.” Rodion’s hand slides over my shoulder and I turn, shoving him backward.
“I said, don’t touch me.”
Alyona rushes outside, her face streaked red from crying, and the man I’ve called Dad for most of my life follows closely behind.
“Zahkar, you need to calm down,” my dad says, his voice steady but strained.
What nerve he has to think he can dictate to me right now.
“Don’t you dare tell me what I need to do,” I bellow, my frustration boiling over. As I speak, headlights suddenly sweep across the grass. The crunch of gravel under tires announce a car's arrival at the gate.
“It’s just my driver,” Dad says when my eyes zone in on it.
“You should leave,” Rodion informs him, stepping on the flower bed and crushing a few beneath his boot.
“Zahkar?” Dad says my name like I’m going to override Rodion and ask him to stay.
“You should leave,” I bark.
He straightens his shoulders, standing tall, and nods in defeat. “Okay, I’ll come back tomorrow.”
Alyona hugs her middle, trying to ward off the slight chill in the air.
“Go inside, Alyona,” I tell her.
Her blonde, uneven hair whips across her face as she shakes her head. “Not without you.”
My chest heaves with an unrelenting storm of emotions—anger, confusion, guilt, sorrow, and betrayal swirling within me like a whirlwind.
“Please, Z, come inside,” she pleads, her voice trembling with desperation, and her vulnerability shatters my resolve. I turn on my heel and stride back into the house.
Rodion, hot on my heels, follows me into the living room. He attempts to touch me again, and my anger cracks. I rear a fist back and let it fly, connecting with his jaw. Alyona’s gasp makes my lungs constrict, but Rodion grins at me.
“It’s fine, love,” he tells her. “This is just how we do things.” He roams those green eyes over me. “Is that what you need, brother? A fight?”
His fist snaps out at me. Usually, I’d dodge the attack, but I don’t this time, allowing it to land across my cheek and throb into my teeth, relishing in the pain. My dick thickens against my zipper.
“Why keep it from me?” I ask, shoving at his chest and throwing a quick combo punch and then a kick to his gut. He folds his body, clutching his torso and laughs, blood blooming across his lips.
Rearing my knee up, I connect with his nose and blood bursts like a tap. His back hits the fireplace and knocks a vase over.
“Because you didn’t need to carry that, so I carried it for us both.” He pants shaking out his limbs and swiping at his nose. “You’re pulling your punches.”
“And you’re not throwing any,” I mock.
A fast kick comes toward me, hitting my thigh and then with a quick bend of the knee, he hits out again landing a kick to my arm and then the side of my head. The momentum throws my body weight to the side hitting the couch and almost toppling over it. Alyona’s image comes into my peripheral view. She’s standing at the threshold of the living room, her hand clutched across her mouth.
“It’s okay, krasota.” Beauty.
“I fucking love you. I would die for you,” Rodion says, sucking in oxygen as he swipes more blood from his lips. “You were never one of them, not to me. You have always been mine. Telling you about them would have only made you see yourself differently. Damaged.” He jabs a finger at me now, his own anger rising within him.
“But I am.” I laugh, the madness slipping through. “There’s something damaged and broken about both of us. There always has been. Our connection isn’t normal, Rodion. It’s incestuous, sinful, and built on the blood of us both losing people.” My blood rushes in my ears and my heart slams against my ribcage protesting what I’m saying.
“It might not be normal, but it’s ours, Z. We found each other at the darkest time of our lives and bleed light into each other. You saved me,” he breathes, his hair falling across his brow. “I don’t give a shit what people call it, or how wrong or broken you think we are. I’ve never doubted the way I feel about you.”
A tide of emotion washes over me with the weight of his words, everything we’ve been through together, how many times he’s picked me up when I didn’t think I could do it on my own. The nights I held him and made him laugh to distract him from those nightmares. The life we built together. There’s not another soul on this damn earth who understands me, loves me so unapologetically as he does.
“Do you doubt how you feel about me?” he asks, pain lacing his words.