Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 95019 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95019 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
I feel like a goddamn idiot as I try to somehow look like I think she’s gorgeous, which I don’t know how to do because I’ve thought she was gorgeous this whole fucking time.
“Gisele, you’re doing great here, exactly like that,” he says. “Nice and receptive. Observe how she’s moving closer.”
“It sounds like you’re directing porn,” I say through my teeth.
“Quit breaking the fourth wall.”
“The huh?”
“That’s when you address the audience,” Gisele explains. “Unless it’s done really well, it pulls the audience out of the story.”
“Aren’t you breaking the fourth wall?” I ask Ryan.
“I’m the director. I can break the wall all I want.”
“He’s right,” Gisele says. “He can.”
“Well, now you’re breaking it too,” I tease, earning the first genuine laugh from her.
Which makes me pause, wondering, is she into me? Or is this part of the act?
“You have a cute sense of humor,” she says. “You should do more of that too. That’s hot.”
Now she’s calling me hot? What is happening?
“Now,” Ryan says, “you’re gonna say, ‘your eyes aren’t the only thing I noticed’ and then look at her lips.”
“What?”
“Just do it.”
“Your eyes aren’t the only thing I noticed,” I repeat, checking out her lips.
“Oh yeah?” Gisele asks. “What else were you noticing?”
“Tell her, ‘You know what I’m talking about.’”
“I know what you’re talking about.”
“No,” Ryan says. “That doesn’t make any sense. Quote me exactly.”
“Oh…you know what I’m talking about.”
“Now do the lean-in, and you’re gonna whisper if you can kiss her, in, like, a really sexy way.”
A jolt of panic surges through me. “Wait, what? How far are we going with this?”
“You’re gonna kiss her, of course.” He says that like it’s plain as day.
I turn to Gisele, hoping she’ll be appalled at the idea.
“I’m fine with it,” she assures me. “Ryan already mentioned we’d be doing this.”
“He sure as hell didn’t mention it to me,” I snap.
My face is so hot, now for a very different reason than when we started. My gut is knotted up. I need to get away, but I take a measured breath. “You know what, Gisele, I appreciate your taking time out of your night to help me out, but I can’t—”
I hurry away, and I hear Ryan tell her, “Give me a minute.”
He catches up with me, and there’s that hand on my back again. “Don’t touch me,” I insist, jerking away from him.
He raises his hands, wide-eyed. “Okay, dude. What’s the issue? Before I brought her in, I showed her your pics and she thought you were cute, which is why I recruited her to help.”
This is new information. “She thinks I’m cute? What? I wanna die.” As my chest tightens like I’m about to have a panic attack, I press my hand against it and hurry off, Ryan keeping right behind me.
“Dude,” he says en route to my room.
“Just leave me the fuck alone, will you?” I spit out.
I keep on to my room, and as I get to it, I head in, slamming the door behind me. Right now, I’m really hating that it was my idea that he roomed with me, since I wish I could lock him out. I’m waiting for him to barge in, but he knocks.
“Mart…come on. Talk to me. Please.”
This must be one of the few times he’s actually respected me enough to give me space and not come barging in.
I take a few breaths, feeling the tightness in my chest loosening, but not much.
“Please, Mart,” he says again, his voice muffled from the other side.
At this point, I’m so worked up, I feel like it’d actually feel better if we were fighting, so I open the door, and he stands on the other side, his head tucked low, like a kid who’s gotten into trouble.
“Can I come in?” he asks.
“Sure.”
I start toward my bed, but now that he’s in here, all the pent-up frustration and rage from downstairs breaks through the surface.
“Why did you do that to me? Why would you put me in a situation with a girl I actually stood a chance with and torture me in front of her?”
“Okay, clearly the kiss was a bridge too far and touched a nerve. What’s going on?”
This is what’s been building since he first made the suggestion. This secret I keep that feels so goddamn shameful, it hurts. So I tell him. “I suck at kissing. Are you happy?”
His expression sobers. “Huh?”
He says that like he can’t fathom the idea—and of course he can’t! He’s fucking Ryan Lorde. He’s got game. He’s had so much practice, he couldn’t suck at kissing if he tried.
“I’m not a good kisser,” I repeat, mortified I’ve revealed this much, but glad it’s out and now he can leave me the fuck alone. I spin back to the bed. “Will you leave now?”
Now that my anger has settled, I realize what a stupid-ass thing it was to share with him—this vulnerability I wouldn’t even confide in Ash or Lance. I don’t want him to see me like this.