Total pages in book: 142
Estimated words: 137017 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 685(@200wpm)___ 548(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137017 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 685(@200wpm)___ 548(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
God paused, pinching his lips together. “Pretty much.”
I sighed. “If that’s true, then I guess Ariana Grande was wrong. God isn’t a woman. What a blow to the feminist movement.”
“I did like that song. Quite catchy. Ah, hold on.” God shimmered, and the handsome male form was taken over by one that was remarkably like Marilyn Monroe, complete with the famous white dress.
What was happening right now?
I scratched my chin. “Uh, God? Are you okay?”
“I can take whichever form I desire. I have no gender. I am simply God.”
“That doesn’t explain why you look like Marilyn Monroe.”
He shrugged, shimmering back to the handsome male form he’d been in previously. “Even I can play favourites among my children.”
Sure, sure.
Why not?
As far as favourites went, Marilyn was arguably a solid one.
“Uh-huh.” I dropped my hand from my face and sighed again. “Well, you have excellent taste, God.”
“Thank you.” He smiled as if he were proud of himself for such a creation. “Now, onto business. You are… Alicia Montgomery, but you go by Allie, correct?”
There was no point asking how he knew that.
He’d just say, “I’m God,” wouldn’t he?
“I’d say I’m here in the flesh, but I don’t think I am,” I quipped, gesturing to my body. Or what I assumed was my body.
He chuckled.
Good to know God had a sense of humour.
“And you died today after being hit by a drunk driver at a crossroad after you left work early. Hmm. You weren’t supposed to go yet.” He tapped his finger against his lips. “Fiddlesticks. That’s always a tough one. Hmm.”
I got the sense I shouldn’t respond to that.
What was one supposed to say to something that essentially meant, ‘oh shit, you weren’t meant to die yet?’
Thank you? No, I think not.
“Well, that explains how you ended up here,” he said chirpily, all traces of confusion brightening his expression. “You were a good and honest person in life, so it looks like you get another shot at the whole shebang. How about it?”
The Church would have a fit if it heard God talking like this.
Then again, if I’d known God talked like this, I might have paid more attention in Sunday School.
“Another shot? What do you mean?”
“Department of Reincarnation.” He waved his hand above his head and a fancy-looking sign appeared. “You’re a good person who died too soon, so your soul is eligible for reincarnation.”
“Do I have to be reincarnated?”
“No. You can choose for your soul to pass on, if you so wish. But in choosing to do so, you’ll be at rest forevermore.” He paused. “Although I’m somewhat disinclined to let you rest. There’s something special about you.”
“I bet you say that to all the ladies who die too soon,” I quipped. “Do I get a say in where or how I’m reincarnated?”
God pursed his lips. “Not usually. Normally, your soul would be swept into the fountain of reincarnation, and you would be reborn when a suitable vessel appears.”
I wrinkled up my nose. “Does that mean I have to be a baby again? I’m not really into the whole pooping myself thing.”
“That’s usually how reincarnation goes.”
“Huh. I always thought I’d come back as a cat. I do like to sleep.”
“Would you like to be a cat? That’s a simple request. I can probably arrange it. I did once turn a girl’s ex into a cockroach at her request after he killed her. I don’t usually meddle, but rules are made to be broken.”
God had a taste for vengeance, it seemed. “I don’t know. That seems like a bit of waste of my brain. I didn’t go to university and almost die while studying law just to become a cat.”
God nodded sagely. “Not to mention your interesting personality. Not many people speak to me like this. They scream, cry, panic… So, you’re quite something, Allie.”
“I think I’ll take that as a compliment, coming from you.” I scratched my chin. “I’m not sure I want to be a baby again either, though. Ho hum. This is tough.”
God tapped his fingers against the podium. “There is another option. A rare one. One I feel that you’re suited to. And, given the current timing…” He tilted his head to one side. “Perhaps almost… fated.”
I paused. What did he mean by that?
Damn it, he had me.
“I’m listening.”
“This universe is made up of many worlds other than the one you lived in. Each galaxy is its own dimension, if you would. They each operate on their own timeline and with their own rules. For example, the modern conveniences you’re accustomed to don’t exist in other worlds for various reasons, while others may be more developed. Specifically, your world has no magic, but that’s something that’s normal in many, many others. Your world’s scientific advances would be phenomenal in one, but mediocre in another.”
Whoa.
Yeah. I’m definitely dead.
Or really, really drunk.