Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 103621 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 518(@200wpm)___ 414(@250wpm)___ 345(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103621 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 518(@200wpm)___ 414(@250wpm)___ 345(@300wpm)
She nods fast, her pain temporarily forgotten in the magic of someone understanding how she feels. “Should I get in the bathtub with ice like you said? Mama and me can use the ice in the fridge.”
Grammercy frowns, giving her the gift of seriously considering that impossible suggestion for a moment. We’d never be able to get enough ice to fill a bathtub from the relatively small ice maker, but he doesn’t crush her dream. He helps transform it, instead, explaining how sometimes an icy rub can work just as well.
Then he tells her exactly where he left a special tube of tiger balm with added arnica in her bathroom.
He bought it before he left.
Just for her.
I press my lips together, glancing sharply down as Mimi thanks him, my throat suddenly too tight. This isn’t roommate caring. This is stepdad caring, papa-in-the-making caring, and it’s so beautiful it breaks my heart a little.
“I hope you feel better, bug,” he finishes as Mimi agrees to try the balm and let him know how it went when he gets home tomorrow. “Love you lots.”
“Love you, too,” Mimi says casually, like she’s been saying it forever. Like, this isn’t the first time they’ve crossed this particular threshold. Meanwhile, I’m fighting a fresh wave of emotion as she asks, “Did you score lots of goals tonight? I had to go to sleep before the game was finished.”
“Just one goal,” he says. “But we won, so the Voodoo is still undefeated.”
“Yay,” Mimi says, looking genuinely pleased as she squirms off my lap. “Come on, Mama. Let’s go find the tiger.”
“Be right there, baby. I’ll meet you in your bathroom in just a second.” Holding Grammercy’s gaze through the screen, I add in a softer voice, “Thank you. That was perfect.”
“I’m glad I could help, even just a little. I’m sorry she’s hurting,” he says. “And you, too. I know you hurt when she hurts. I’ll be back soon to help, okay? Plane leaves tomorrow at ten a.m.”
“See you soon,” I whisper. “Sweet dreams.”
“Sweet dreams, chère,” he murmurs, the warmth in his voice going straight to my bones.
I end the call, exhaling in a rush. “Sorry,” I apologize to Makena. “I need to go get her settled again.”
“No worries, honey,” she says softly. “Go be the great mama you are. I’ll be here when you get back. I won’t leave without saying goodbye.”
Lips curving, I nod. “Thanks.”
Feeling very lucky, and so much less alone than I used to be, I join Mimi, who’s already found the balm and her stuffed tiger from the stuffy storage bin, and brought them both back to her bed.
I open the tube, letting her sniff it before she lies back to let me rub in the cream, starting with the hip that’s hurting the most.
As I smooth the balm over the side of her glute, her quad, then down to her calf, I can feel the knots and inflammation the PT warned us about. But on the other side of this, she promised more stable joints, fewer micro-injuries, and—hopefully—less pain.
In the meantime, however, Mimi’s little body feels like she just stepped off a battlefield, not a playground.
But thankfully, the balm seems to help. Slowly, as I massage one leg, then the other, she melts into the mattress, the icy heat giving her some much-needed relief. We’ve used creams like this before and arnica creams—we’ve tried just about everything at this point—but never the two together. The fact that Grammercy went out of his way to find something new, something to at least try to help, is the straw that breaks denial’s back.
That’s it.
I’m in love with him, the forever kind of love.
The kind that takes root in your heart and never lets go.
Even if he decides my alter ego and the lies I’ve told make it impossible for us to move forward together, I will always love him for being the kind of father my little girl needs.
Even if it was just for a little while.
Not ten minutes in, Mimi’s asleep again, one hand curled tight around Miss Sparklehorn’s neck, the other around Texas the Tiger, with the ghost of tiger balm and her cherry shampoo mingling in the air.
Back in the kitchen, Makena’s tidying up the hot toddy ingredients and the saucepan.
“You didn’t have to clean up,” I whisper, not wanting to disturb Mimi so soon after she’s drifted off. “You spend all day cleaning up kitchens. You should have let me do it.”
“Oh, I don’t mind,” she says, with a small smile. “I find it soothing.”
After the bottles are tucked away, I walk her to the door, where she hugs me tight, as usual. But she holds on a second longer at the end, whispering into my hair, “I get it. Why you’re so scared to tell him.”
I pull back, gazing down at her. “Yeah?”