Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 78155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 391(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 391(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Jacques hung his bag on the edge of the chair and immediately lit up another smoke.
I pulled out a cigar and lit up too.
He said nothing, just smoking while we waited for the waiter.
When he came by, we both ordered stiff drinks and then sat in uncomfortable silence.
I stared at my cousin, who looked similar to me, dark hair and dark eyes, tall and a bit burly. “How’s your family?”
“Let’s not talk about them.”
“Whether we talk about them or not, it’s not going to make them any safer.”
He took a drag of his cigarette and looked elsewhere.
“Come on, Jacques,” I said. “No one is going to fuck with your father when all of Paris know he’s my uncle.”
His eyes eventually came back to me. “It’s rich of you to tell me not to worry, considering how both of your parents died.”
It bothered me. It would always bother me. “My dad was an idiot. It’s no surprise what happened.”
“Your mom was innocent.”
“But my father didn’t care about her. He didn’t care about me either.”
“Well, that’s where we’re different. Because I love my wife and daughter more than anything.” He tapped his cigarette against the ashtray to drop the ash that had accumulated on the tip. “I’d die if anything happened to them.”
“That’s how it should be.”
He took another drag of the cigarette and let the smoke billow out like a cloud.
The waiter brought our drinks.
He crossed his legs. “What do you want from me, Luca?”
“Your father misses you.” It was as simple as that. “It eats him alive every day.”
He dismissed my words by looking away. “I want no part of that life.”
“Having a relationship with him doesn’t mean you need to be part of that life.”
“The association is enough. If he wants to be in my life, then he can walk away from it all. He can have dinner with us every Sunday night. Those are my terms, and I won’t alter them to accommodate him. It’d be different if it were just me, but I have a little girl, and she’s everything to me.” He took another drag of the cigarette, let out the smoke, and then took a drink.
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“Then he can keep doing what he’s doing, and I’ll do what I’m doing,” he said. “Problem solved.”
As nice as it was to be loved like a son, I knew I didn’t deserve that favoritism. My father was gone because he was selfish and careless. I was never important to him. If I had been, he would have been like Jacques and protected me against it all. But my uncle and cousin deserved to be reunited. “I see the pain your father carries, and I have to assume you carry it too.”
“I sleep just fine.”
“Right.”
He took another drag of his cigarette.
I’d barely touched my cigar.
“Why are you doing this, Luca? You’re the son he wanted. Looks like everything worked out for the best.”
“I’ll never replace you, Jacques.” Even when Baptiste said he considered me to be a son, I knew he spoke from a place of pain. “Just because my parents were killed due to the business doesn’t mean the same will happen to your parents or to you.”
“But it could.”
“And you could get hit by a taxi crossing the street, Jacques.”
“I look both ways, asshole.”
“I’m just saying, death can hit us at any time. I don’t think going no-contact with your parents is the right decision.”
“Oh, you don’t think so?” he snapped. “Because this is your life? Your decision? Luca, if you ever settle down with a woman and pop out a kid, your entire perspective will be different. Don’t talk to me about something you don’t understand.” He stabbed the cigarette into the ashtray and put it out. “Did he put you up to this?”
“No.”
“Really?” he challenged.
“I swear on my father’s grave.”
He continued to study me, balancing between belief and disbelief. “Why? Why do you care?”
I didn’t involve myself in other people’s affairs. Their messes. Their chaos. But I got involved in this. “The difference between your father and mine is…yours actually gives a shit about you. He actually loves you. Mine never did. And it seems like a waste for you both to lose that.”
With his fingers on the top of his glass, he continued to stare at me.
“Just seems like a waste.”
Aliénor texted me. Dominic and I are at Bar Hemingway if you want to stop by.
I’d just gotten home when I received her text. It’s okay. Have fun. Now that I knew Dominic was into dudes and not into her, I didn’t care about their friendship. Truth be told, I was still embarrassed that I’d gotten jealous over a man who didn’t even like women.
Come on. Dominic wants to meet you.
Alright. I’ll be there in a few.
And heads-up…he thinks you’re hot.
How does he know what I look like?