Total pages in book: 39
Estimated words: 36109 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 181(@200wpm)___ 144(@250wpm)___ 120(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 36109 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 181(@200wpm)___ 144(@250wpm)___ 120(@300wpm)
Rafa raised his head and met my gaze. The mask he usually wore had dissolved, and I was no longer looking at my boss, the ruthless Mafia leader. I was faced with my friend and surrogate brother.
With each breath I took, it felt like I had an ice pick in one of my lungs. But when I saw the deep hurt in Rafa’s eyes, the sadness there…it shocked me and intensified the pain I felt in my chest.
I’d always known he would be furious when he found out about my relationship with Gabriella. That he would feel betrayed. But I hadn’t expected it to cut so deep, as if I’d bruised his heart.
Rafa shook his head, and his mouth twitched. “In some ways, the perplexed expression on your face answers my question.”
“Pardon?”
“Sometimes, I forget that, unlike me, you don’t truly wear a mask. You have walls, but even those of us you’ve allowed past them don’t see a version of you that is completely different. You are not ruled by emotion, by your heart. You assign value to people based on their actions, and since there is no constant in that way of viewing things, people don’t know where they stand with you. It’s one of the things that makes you so fucking good at what you do. The only thing predictable about you is that you’re unpredictable.”
Again, I couldn’t disagree. “I know my mind and heart don’t work the way they should.”
Rafa shook his head and sighed. “Believing that about yourself is why it’s so hard for you to understand how your actions have cut me so deeply. It also helps me to understand why, instead of coming to me about your feelings for Gabbi, you fought them until they broke you.”
I wasn’t sure where he was going with all of this, and I was too fucking exhausted to try to puzzle it out myself.
“Can I see her?” I asked tiredly.
“I haven’t decided yet,” he replied with complete honesty.
“You know I won’t stay away from her,” I warned. “You’ll have to kill me if you want me to leave Gabriella.”
“Another reason you aren’t rotting in a trash dump.”
Again, said with complete honesty.
“Are you trying to make my head explode with all this cryptic bullshit?” I blurted, frustration coloring my tone.
Rafa silently studied me for so long that I’d nearly given up waiting for him to answer when he finally moved. He grabbed a chair and brought it over to the side of the bed. “Answer some questions for me, then I’ll make a decision and explain, affare?”
“Sì.”
“Do you love her?”
I didn’t know what to say.
Rafa scratched his chin thoughtfully. “You aren’t sure.”
“She is everything to me,” I told him fiercely. “I will always choose her first, and if that means that you decide to kill me, I will claw my way back from all seven levels of hell to be with her.”
Rafa rolled his eyes and shook his head. “That’s love, coglione. It looks and feels different to everyone.”
Well, fuck. How had I been this stupid? Damn, I’d loved Gabriella since the moment she’d returned from New York.
“You have to stop looking at the way everyone else sees the world. As if you’re broken for seeing it differently. Somehow, you can’t understand how anyone would have the same loyalty and respect for you that you have given to them. It shouldn’t surprise me that you didn’t think your actions would hurt me, rather than just infuriate me. But like I said…unpredictable.”
“Are you waiting for the poison to kick in and figured you’d pass the time by talking more in one conversation than you have in the decades I’ve known you?”
Rafa cracked a smile. “I’m insulted you think I would be that bush league when choosing how to eliminate you.”
I shrugged, then winced when pain shot through my chest. Fucking Snyder and this damn bullet hole.
There was a commotion out in the hall, and Rafa sighed.
“It seems my time is almost up.” He stood and moved the chair, returning to the end of the bed. “Look, fratello, the truth is, you knew I wouldn’t think you were good enough for my sister. And in some ways, I still do. But that has more to do with the life we lead than who you are and how you feel about her. If you swear that she is and always will have your love and complete loyalty, then I’ll give you my blessing.”
“Thank fuck,” I grunted, dropping my head back onto the pillow. I was really dreading having to kill my best friend for keeping me from the woman I loved. It definitely would have put a strain on my relationship with her.
“With some conditions,” Rafa added, making me mentally sigh.
When the fuck would he shut up and let me see my woman?