Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 131651 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 658(@200wpm)___ 527(@250wpm)___ 439(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131651 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 658(@200wpm)___ 527(@250wpm)___ 439(@300wpm)
I have no clue what to say.
How do you even smile and apologize for kissing your older, forbidden bodyguard?
He kissed me back, sure, but right now he looks like he wishes it never happened. Zero doubt he blames me, and I probably deserve it.
“Um. I should probably—” I stop. What? Apologize?
“I’m sorry, Cleo,” he bites off.
The silence eats us again.
Weirdly, his unexpected apology just makes me more uncomfortable. Now I’m the one who can’t stand to look at him.
I stare at my hands instead, turning them over, fidgeting for relief that won’t come.
“I didn’t mean it,” I say harshly. “Kissing you, I mean. I guess I forgot who I was with, and… and I was just so glad to hear the good news. Totally overreacted.” My broken laugh sounds so fake. “Obviously, I got carried away. Sugar high,” I finish.
Understatement of the century.
Sugar high?
Pathetic.
If he weren’t in front of me, I’d bury my head in my hands and maybe gouge my eyes out for good measure. If oblivion could find me right now, that’d be cool.
“Sugar high,” he echoes gruffly. “That does make sense.”
It doesn’t, and that’s the problem.
I knew I found him attractive.
I’m a red-blooded woman, so that was a given. And over the past couple days, the complicated mix of good looks and awful, conflicting attitudes grew into this teensy crush.
Slightly more than a teensy crush.
He’s just so big and mean and capable.
Every girl’s dream: a man who can beat up her problems and still take her to art museums and whip up breakfast.
But it’s more than that. It’s more than the miles of brute muscle that can knock down doors or his great cooking skills or how much he cares for his fam when I grew up convinced he just climbed into a dark hole and slept like a vampire once the day was over.
Holden, he’s—
He’s been kind. He’s been gentle and sweet.
He still might piss me off sometimes, sure, but every day makes it harder to see the inhuman ass.
When he stops treating me like a kid, everything changes. It’s easy to lose the old dynamic, where he was just PopPop’s watchdog.
Things are different now. The landscape shifted when I wasn’t looking, and I let that ruin what could’ve been the reset we needed.
After kissing him, that’s toast.
My chest feels too tight, caging the distressed hummingbird inside.
Holden finally moves first, to get as far away as possible, I’m sure. He can’t possibly bear to be close to me anymore.
“We should pack,” he announces from behind the sofa. “We’ve got the flight back to Portland tonight. No sense in waiting around here a second longer.”
No sense in risking another night in one bed together, he means.
I don’t blame him.
“Oh, right, yeah. The flight,” I say stupidly.
I stay where I am as Holden stomps into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him with unmistakable force.
I don’t move yet. I just listen to him tossing stuff around, zipping and unzipping his bag several times. Of course, he’s angry—and why shouldn’t he be?
I ruined a good thing.
One second, he was just listening, trying to be supportive, and then I was all over him.
I drop my head into my hands, digging my fingers into my cheeks, fighting and failing to suppress the tears of shame.
This is so bad, but the damage is done.
The very worst part is, it was one of the best fucking kisses of my life. And it had to be with Holden Verity.
I don’t know how to do this.
How to shift back to our regularly scheduled lives and erase the bitter memory.
I’ve hated him for most of my life. I miss it.
Hate, that was easy and familiar.
I knew we’d bicker. He was the distant, cold, controlling asshole because he had to be.
At least that relationship made perfect sense.
He was so strict and I liked acting out the way every young girl does when she trusts someone will stop her before things go too far. Safely bending rules. Testing boundaries.
Now, nothing about Holden feels safe and predictable.
Nothing except—no, that’s not right.
Even while we’re stranded here and burning from the kiss to end all kisses, I know he’ll keep putting my safety first.
It’s just… we’re talking about a different sort of safe.
Emotionally, I’m trapped inside a burning car and I don’t know how to get out.
Groaning softly, I throw myself back on the sofa and pretend to scroll on my phone. I should be riding high on the news about my coming fortune.
This is it.
Everything I wanted beyond my wildest dreams.
Confirmation that I’ll be filthy rich very soon and that puts me in charge of my destiny like never before.
Fairfax will probably offer plenty.
That could be it, the end of the line for this adventure, for Holden and me.
Enough to set me up for the rest of my life. I don’t need the final numbers to know it.