Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 89666 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 448(@200wpm)___ 359(@250wpm)___ 299(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89666 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 448(@200wpm)___ 359(@250wpm)___ 299(@300wpm)
We returned to join the rest of the volunteers. The afternoon passed easily with a light lunch and talking about the efforts my mom’s charity was planning to pursue. I gave up worrying about whether my mom was going to like Byron when I caught them off together in an intense, hour-long discussion about event planning and new outreach efforts the charity should consider.
Oh, yeah. Byron fit in perfectly, and I couldn’t wait to make him mine.
16
BYRON GRAHAM
This was a horrible idea.
Terrible. Disastrous. Bad. Just really, really bad.
Especially after our last date was a wonderful afternoon with Sebastian’s charming mother and her LGBTQIA+ charity.
But Sebastian kept pressing, and I understood why. This was a big part of my life, and it was the one piece that I was determined to keep him out of. Everything about it was ugly and painful. Why would I want to include Sebastian in that? Right now, he was everything that was good and happy in my life. I didn’t want that sliver of happiness to become tainted.
That wasn’t right, though.
Sebastian wanted this to be a real relationship, where we shared all the parts of our lives. Both the good and the bad. How could we ever know if we could date and be in a long-term relationship if we couldn’t share all the important pieces of ourselves?
And I agreed with him. If I were dating someone and I regarded this person as my boyfriend, I’d want to share all of my life with that person. I’d want someone to lean on when shit got hard.
Being honest with myself, I wanted that person to be Sebastian. He was so strong all the time, and he felt like the best person to hold me the moment it got to be too much. I wanted to close my eyes and hear him tell me it was all going to be okay, because I knew if he said it, I’d believe it.
However, sharing this part of my life meant introducing Sebastian to my foul-mouthed, foul-tempered, alcoholic mother. Not only did this feel embarrassing, but it was terrifying. There was a part of me that expected him to take one look at this part of my life, say “Fuck this shit,” and walk right away. I wouldn’t even blame him one bit, either.
“It’s going to be fine,” Sebastian said for the third time as we approached my mother’s house. My knuckles were white on the steering wheel.
“It won’t be. It’s never been fine before, so I’m not expecting it to be fine now.” But it had been nearly a week since I’d last checked on her. I’d sent some food earlier in the week after talking to her on the phone, but I had a feeling she might need more food and for me to throw a load of clothes in the laundry for her. Not to mention, it was time to search her house for bottles of alcohol.
“Even if it’s not fine, I’ll be right by your side the entire time. I’m not leaving you, no matter how not fine it is.”
His comments warmed some of the ice forming around my gut, but they didn’t chase away all the chill. We still had to survive this afternoon.
I pulled my car up to the curb outside my mom’s tiny house and turned off the engine. Prior to even unbuckling my seat belt, I turned my attention to Sebastian, running a critical eye over him. When I’d agreed to let him accompany me, I’d instructed him to wear his plainest, most ordinary clothes, which he had. Yet, I could still see at a glance that the quality was a hundred times better than what I could afford, even though he was just wearing a pair of jeans and a burgundy polo shirt.
“Take off your watch and put it in your pocket,” I ordered. Thankfully, he didn’t wear any other jewelry. “Keep your watch and phone in your pockets. Also, keep a close eye on your wallet.”
“Is your mother a klepto?”
“No, but I keep a close watch on the money that comes into the house.” I rubbed my forehead, wiping away the beads of sweat forming there in the blistering June heat. Naturally, the air conditioning in my car didn’t work, but Sebastian was kind enough to not mention it. “She shouldn’t have enough to buy as much booze as she does, and yet there it is. All I can figure is that she’s selling the food and other things out of the house to buy it or she’s stealing from somewhere. I don’t even want to think about the amount of cash you potentially have in your wallet right now.”
“Got it.”
“The other thing…” I hesitated, not even wanting to say the words out loud. “It would probably be best if you didn’t talk about dating me or even dating men in general. She’ll probably still guess, but I’ve learned to not throw fuel on the fire. Let’s go. We’ll try to make this as fast as possible.”