Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 75783 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75783 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
I sit up straighter and put a hand on my diaphragm, taking a slow inhale in before exhaling. My eyes don’t leave her the entire time. It takes her a moment to let her breath become steady as she tries to mimic my breathing. After a minute of deep breathing, her crying settles, and she’s no longer whimpering in fear. She’s still shaking, but I imagine that won’t calm down for a little while.
“Will you tell me what happened that caused that reaction?” I ask her in a calm voice when she seems to be more in control.
Harper just shakes her head and brings her knees to her chest again, resting her head between them. “I can’t.”
I wait for a moment, hoping she might change her mind, then she looks at me with a heaviness in her eyes that makes my chest ache. “It’s not that nothing happened. I just can’t tell you about it because I’m not ready to talk.”
All I can do is nod and give her the space she needs to come to terms with discussing it when she’s ready. These are things you can’t force. As much as I want to know what happened, to fix what she’s feeling in some way, I have to wait for her.
We sit together in silence for a few minutes as she recovers from the trauma response, because that’s exactly what that was. There’s a pit in my stomach thinking that I might have caused this reaction in some way. I never meant to hurt her.
Harper sniffles beside me, and it reminds me of the night I heard her moaning during her nightmare. Looking back, I can see that her nightmare might not have just been because she went to bed hungry. I know she’s had a pretty difficult life. I don’t know all the details, but I can’t imagine growing up with someone like Diana was pleasant.
But now, I think there’s something more to it all. It has something to do with what just happened. There’s something in Harper that’s broken inside. I have my suspicions that it’s something to do with sex, and it infuriates me knowing that someone hurt her. I wish she would tell me about it so I could find them and do everything in my power to make their life a living hell.
How am I supposed to hand her over to Malik like this? Malik won’t care that she’s damaged, that there’s something much deeper going on with her than he could understand. He’ll see her and think that she’s his and take her any way he wants. He’ll brutalize her without any regard for her well-being.
I won’t let that happen. I can’t let another man like him hurt her.
“Are you going to be okay?” I ask, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. This time she doesn’t pull away from me. She nods and flashes me a meek smile as I stand up. “Why don’t you take the rest of the day off to relax a bit? I’ll be in my office doing some work. Just stay close in case I need you for something, okay?”
Harper nods and stands up, dusting off her pants even though the floor is pristinely clean. I watch her go to her bedroom before heading to my office. I’ll make sure I don’t actually need her for anything, but for the time being, I need to make sure she’s safe here. I can watch her here, but I can’t if she’s out there in the world.
I’m not going to let anything happen to her ever again.
Chapter 14
Harper
I focus on my sketch pad to try to forget the memories that have been forced into the front of my mind once again. Dawson didn’t mean anything by it, and he stood by me and gave me the time I needed to recover, which was great. But I can’t let something like that happen again. He was patient this time, but what about the next?
A pit forms in my chest when I think about telling him the truth. Telling Dawson about him...
I feel bile rise in my throat, and I rub the palms of my hands over my eyes to try to distract myself from the thought of it. Why do I still let him get to me like this? It’s been years, and I should have moved on by now. It makes me feel weak and vulnerable just thinking about him. I don’t want him to have this kind of a hold on me anymore.
A knock on my door catches my attention, making me jump in my seat. Before I can say anything, the door opens, and Dawson peeks his head through.
“Hi,” I say nervously, slamming my sketch pad shut. It’s an instinct I’ve had all my life that I still can’t control to this day. I love art, and I dedicate a lot of time to it, but the idea of someone seeing my drawings and judging them makes me nervous. For some reason, the idea of Dawson doing it makes it all the more terrifying.