Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84670 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84670 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
We could do this. I could do this.
Maybe. It wasn’t like I’d fucked up every relationship I’d ever been in because I was too much for anyone to want to tolerate. Yeah, it was going to be fine. Just fiiiinnnne.
Walking into my penthouse apartment was like taking a step back in time. I’d been meticulous about adhering to an art deco vibe in every room. Everything was sleek lines and elegant curves.
“Oh, wow…” Liam breathed as he walked inside. “This is…”
“Too much? Over-the-top?”
“Very you,” Liam answered, putting me out of my misery. Sort of. The man smirked at me as if he knew he hadn’t helped. “What I mean is that you’ve always been the type to go all in on something when it interested you. Why did you pick art deco?”
“The building itself had a lot of original art deco features, and I wanted to embrace it. Try to get a feel for the building, how it might have looked a hundred years ago.”
We wandered through the living room, dining room, my office, and library with Liam oooing and ahhing all the different things, warming my heart with his appreciation.
“Would you like something to drink?” I inquired as we turned toward the kitchen.
“Yes, please.”
I grinned at him. “An adult beverage, I take it.”
“Beer. Give me beer. Or whiskey. Yes, alcohol, please.”
Before taking another step, I took Liam’s hand and threaded our fingers together. I pulled him into me so our chests bumped. Nervous energy vibrated from him, and his features were tense. Leaning in, I brushed my lips against his. A small, tender kiss he returned instantly, but I pulled away the moment he tried to deepen it. I returned several times, only tiny pecks.
“Breathe,” I whispered. “Nothing is going to happen that you don’t want.”
“What if what I think I want makes me nervous?” he asked with a little laugh.
“We will go slow. You always have the option to change your mind. Or we do nothing at all.” I drew away and shrugged. “I’ve got two spare bedrooms. You can crash in one of them. We can spend the night talking or watching a movie.”
“No, I want to. I want…” His voice trailed off as if he couldn’t put into words what he desired. He lifted his eyes, and his smile softened. “I want you.”
Oh, no.
No. No. No. No. No.
That wasn’t fair. He wasn’t allowed to whip out cool, swoon-worthy lines like that and expect me to stay strong. I was still human. A horny, stupid human.
Tightening my fingers on his hand, I pulled him to the kitchen. “Come on. Now, we both need a drink.”
Liam’s laughter chased me along the dimly lit hall and into the gleaming black-and-silver kitchen. Leaving him at the counter, I grabbed a couple of tumblers, some ice, and splashed some whiskey in our glasses. This was to help us reclaim some sanity.
“I do have one question.” Liam stood on the other side of the counter, sipping his whiskey.
“Shoot,” I said, taking a deep drink.
“How do you know if you’re a top or a bottom?”
Apparently, whiskey burned like the devil’s fire when it shot out of your nose. I gasped and coughed, trying to remember how to breathe. My sinuses were destroyed, and I was pretty sure I’d lost the lining in my throat as well. Don’t aspirate your whiskey. It’s not a pleasant experience.
Liam ran around the counter and stood beside me, pounding me on the back as I tried to suck in some air that didn’t hurt.
“You did that on purpose,” I wheezed, batting his helpful hand away.
“I did not!” My eyes narrowed on his in a scowl. “Okay, I thought it was a little funny, but I didn’t do it on purpose. It’s not like I expected the question to take you by surprise. I figured it was something that came up.”
My mouth opened, but nothing came out. This was…
Fuck, why wasn’t there a book out there to help all the baby gays? Well, there was Reddit, but God only knew the quality of the info people were spouting.
I took another sip of my whiskey, wincing. “So…um…some people just know. Deep down. I’m a bottom. I’m a top. However, I’ll admit that I’ve known a few tops who were probably bottoms but were scared to try it because all they hear about is the pain or that it says something about their masculinity.” I leaned across the counter and looked at him. “And if they’re worried about the pain, that means they’re a shitty top, because if you’re doing it right, your bottom shouldn’t be in pain.”
“Oh…”
“Many people will try both and figure out which they prefer. But there are some people out there who don’t like penetrative sex at all, and there’s nothing wrong with that. There are plenty of other things you can do to get off with your partner.”