Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 122514 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 613(@200wpm)___ 490(@250wpm)___ 408(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 122514 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 613(@200wpm)___ 490(@250wpm)___ 408(@300wpm)
Grant was still silent.
Sophia cleared her throat. “I think Grant knows my thoughts on Keith, and I have a feeling he knows I stand with Hadley’s thoughts on this matter as well.” She spoke to me, with her eyes on her fiancé’s back. “He’ll realize he had no right to accuse you the way he did. And it’s none of his business because you’re not under contract like we are, and again, nothing illegal is going on.”
Grant turned to her.
She shook her head. “It’s not even unethical, Grant. Don’t go there. They’re adults. Both of them. That’s it. And now, having said that…” She smiled at me. “We’re having a group of people to the house tomorrow night to watch their game, if you’d like to come.”
Grant said stiffly, “I was going to invite her.”
“After the third degree? Really?” Her voice was dry. “I’m sure she would’ve felt so welcome.” She looked back at me. “Please come. Grant will have his head out of his ass by then.” She nodded, turned, and went back out the way she’d come.
Grant waited until the cafeteria door closed behind her, and his gaze swung back to me.
There was no apology in his eyes, though. He just seemed haunted, with an edge of anger, and his tone reflected both. “With all due respect to their opinions, they don’t know you like I do.”
Fuck. I looked away. I knew in that second that this was going to hurt. He wasn’t coming at me in a disapproving way for my ethics. He was taking a personal angle.
Shit, shit, shit.
It had killed me to expose myself as much as I did with Reese the night before, and now here? With Grant? I wasn’t sure I had the strength to hear this out, whatever he was going to send my way. Though, maybe I did deserve it?
He started low, quiet. “You were my best friend. Like, the bestest friend I’ve ever had. And yeah, I knew that kiss was a mistake. I knew it was going to scare you away, but I had to still try. I backed off after. I did.”
I frowned. Why was he bringing this up? “The kiss?”
“Our kiss.”
“Why are you…” I trailed off.
He jumped in, more insistent, “I knew I scared you away with that kiss. I don’t want it to happen again, where you get with a guy, he hurts you, and we lose you all over again. I did it with our kiss, and then we completely lost you for years to Damian. And now I know things ended with you two, and you were still too scared to come to me. I…” He ground to a halt.
My eyes were wide. I could barely breathe. “Are you serious?”
His eyebrows bunched together. “I scared you away. It’s because of me that you even started dating Damian.”
He blamed—what? No. He couldn’t, but he did. I saw it then.
He blamed himself for Damian, and for...I wasn’t even sure what else.
I shook my head. “No. No! You didn’t scare me away. That’s not what happened.”
His frown deepened. “It’s not?”
“No! Not at all.”
Oh boy. I would have to slide that door open once more and feel the Damian effects again. It was going to crush me, but he needed it. This wasn’t my coworker in front of me, but a best friend I’d abandoned, and it was on me to make this right.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” he asked.
“For leaving you—for leaving everyone, to be honest. I knew I’d hurt people. I just didn’t know how much. I’m getting it now.” And gah, that kiss. He blamed himself. “Grant, when you and I kissed, I knew there was nothing there.”
His entire face twisted. “Nice.”
“We were young, and I was a coward. I should’ve told you straight up right then and there, but you never pushed, and I didn’t realize what you were going to think. You never scared me. I was okay. We kissed, and it was what it was. You were my best friend, and in a way, I think you still are, but I didn’t run to Damian because of you. When we left the swing and I drove away, I decided to just let it lie. I was waiting to see if you pushed for something, and if you did, I was going to tell you then that there was nothing romantic between us. You and me kissing had no bearing on me falling in love with Damian. At all.”
“It didn’t? I didn’t?”
We’d been so young, and I heard it in his voice again. That guy was in front of me, the one I’d thrown away.
“I am so sorry. When I fell for Damian, it was a whirlwind. He consumed everything in me, and I fell hard. I fell fast. We were—I could think something, and he knew it just by a look, or a twitch, or somehow he could feel it in the air. I don’t know. It was unsettling at first, but I’ve never had someone know me the way he knew me and so fast.” Pain sliced me right down the middle, my guts falling out. “He was my soulmate, and what happened with us—it wasn’t a case of him cheating on me or abusing me. It wasn’t like that, but it was tragic, and it was hard to walk away from. But I had to.”