Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46846 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46846 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
He’s incapable of doing that or even thinking about doing it.
Because he only wants me.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
He stares at me darkly. His eyes have more emotion than I’ve ever seen in his photos. Suddenly calling him haunted in those pictures seems unfair.
This is what a truly haunted Logan looks like as he pins me in place with his gaze.
“Losing a child, it’s…it’s difficult to explain. It’s like a piece of you is just gone.”
He looks down at his food, then shovels a large piece of fish into his mouth as though anything is preferable to talking. I munch on a few fries.
It’s confusing as heck to listen to the love in his voice for his daughter, to listen to the pain.
It makes me think of silly things like maybe he could have the same love for our children… or maybe not the same, since Anna will always hold a special place in his heart, but a love that is just as strong and supportive, but this time without the darkness.
Just the light. Just us.
“What was she like?” I ask.
Logan comes the closest to a real smile I’ve seen yet.
“She was an amazing little girl. She was six when she…. Anyway, she was so smart for her age, so quick. She used to love it when I held her above my head and ran around the yard with her. She even sewed this cape made from old bed sheets. She’d pretend she was a superhero….”
I blink, shocked at the tears in my eyes, as I imagine the scene…and the scene becomes the future, Logan smiling up at our child, a cape flapping in the breeze as they spin around and around together.
“You sound like you were a great dad,” I say.
He nods slowly. “I think I was. I tried to be. Lucy, when a man has a child, he has a duty, an obligation, a privilege…whatever you want to call it, or however you want to describe it….”
His hands are shaking. With a dark growling huffing breath – as though all his pain is trying to burst out, but he’s stopping it – he loudly places his fork down. It clatters against his plate.
“Yes?” I whisper.
“A man has to be there for his children. If he’s not a monster – if he’s a decent man who’s going to help the kid, not hurt them – then he has to be there. I don’t give a flying fuck about any sob stories. I don’t care if you want to lie and tell yourself the child would be better off without you. Unless that’s true, then shut the fuck up and do your duty.”
He shakes his head, laughing, but there’s no humor in it. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I whisper as his words bounce around me, tempting me even more.
“I agree,” I say.
“It’s an old-fashioned way to think these days.” Logan shrugs. “But I don’t care. If I ever have another child, nothing on this planet could stop me from being there for them.”
My heart shimmers, even as I remind myself that he’s definitely not talking about us.
“Sometimes it’s not that easy,” I say softly. “I’ve got a friend.”
I don’t give him Jane’s name since it wouldn’t be fair.
“Her mom was, is a…complicated person. She did a great job raising my friend. But she was also extremely cruel to her dad. At least, that’s how I see it. My friend always told me her dad was a good man, but her mom got bitter in the divorce, even if she was the one who asked for it. Maybe she wanted him to fight for her. I don’t know.”
“Some tactic,” Logan says gruffly. “Marriage isn’t a thing to be toyed with. It’s the same as having kids. Once you make the commitment, you stick to it.”
“He cheated on her,” I tell him.
Logan sits up a little, face tightening. “Ah, that’s a different story.”
“I hate cheating,” I murmur, looking at him, but at the same time scared to because I know I’ll read far too much into it.
“It’s one of the lowest things a person can do,” Logan says firmly.
Aren’t you cheating on your last date with every new photo you take?
But that’s not fair. It’s not like he tells those women he’s going to be with them forever, then goes on a date. Everybody knows the deal.
“Anyway,” I go on, “she did everything she could to make sure my friend’s dad got as little visitation as possible. It didn’t work, since my friend loves her dad and went to see him anyway. But sometimes it works, both ways…men and women, using their kids as pawns.”
“It would’ve been better if they’d stayed together,” Logan says.
“Despite the cheating?” I ask.
He sighs darkly. “I’d die before I cheated on a partner, but….”
“Is that Lucky Logan?” somebody says from a few tables over, their voice rising. “Holy shit. It is. Lucky Logan Locke. Oh my God.”