Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 104802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
“Pretty sure I did. I won’t get hurt. I promise. And I’m definitely not getting arrested. Hypothetically.”
Ridiculously, his words soothe some of my worry. I trust him. “I’m holding you to that…your promise.”
He winks. “I expect nothing less.” And then…then Cillian takes my hand, holding it the rest of the walk up the driveway.
*
Cillian is locked away in Tiernan’s office for most of the day. I try to distract myself with some assignments I need to do, but even that doesn’t work. School is always a good distraction for me, but now there’s Cillian, and he’s doing something dangerous, and I don’t know how to handle that.
“You good?” I hear from behind me and turn around to see Dean leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
“Yeah. I’m just…” How do I even finish that sentence?
“I get it. In the beginning, I was the one left at home. It’s…” He looks away, trying to find his words and maybe still adjusting to this whole opening-up thing. “Difficult. He’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it. Tiernan and Rory will too.”
“I want you all to be okay.”
He gives a small smirk. “We will be.” He pushes off the wall. “You’re doing good with all this. Better than I would have thought, but then I remember how brave you were when you thought Tiernan was hurting me, and I realize none of us should ever doubt you.”
I’m struck speechless for a moment, pulse pounding. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”
Dean shrugs, then simply walks away, down the hall and toward Tiernan’s office.
I jump when I hear the front door open, but then relax when Aislin walks around the corner with two bags in her hands. “Do I smell hibachi?”
“And cupcakes.” She nods toward the kitchen. “Come on.”
I leave my schoolbooks and laptop on the couch and go with her. Aislin is already unpacking food and moving around the kitchen as if she lives here.
“Did he call you? Cillian?”
“Would it be bad if he did?” she asks, her back to me as she grabs plates from the cabinet.
It wouldn’t be bad at all. It would be…kind and a really Cillian thing to do. It’s hard to put together the two sides of him—like puzzle pieces that at first don’t look like they will fit together, but then somehow do. “No.”
She turns around and leans against the counter. “Then yes, he did. He didn’t want you to be alone tonight—and not because he doesn’t think you can take care of yourself, but because he knows this is new for you.”
“How do you get used to it?” I ask, not that we’ll be together long enough for that. It’s different for her, of course. Tiernan is her brother, Cillian her cousin, Dean her best friend, and Rory’s like a brother to her too.
“It’s all I’ve ever known.” She makes two plates filled with fried rice, chicken, and veggies and sets them on the table.
I take a seat, and Aislin settles in the one beside me.
“I’m sorry,” I find myself telling her.
“Because it’s all I’ve ever known?” she asks, and I nod. “I mean, yes, it’s hard in a lot of ways, but you’ll never find a truer family than the people in this house. You’ll never find love like you get from the people in this house either. Bad always comes with good, and what you have to ask yourself is if the good outweighs the bad. They may not be perfect, they’re flawed and…well, not what most people would consider good men, but they’re good men to me. They’re honorable, even if it’s in their own way. Now that he’s claimed you, there’s nothing Cillian wouldn’t do for you, which means there’s nothing the rest of them wouldn’t do for you. It was the same with Dean, once everyone knew he was Tiernan’s.”
“I’m not Cillian’s forever.” Not for good, at least.
“Maybe not in your book, but you are in his, and that’s what matters to them.”
“I don’t want him to have to do stuff like that for me.”
She reaches over and places her hand on top of mine. “If you stay with him, this will always be part of it. There will always be risks, there will always be danger. Something will always test your conscience, but just remember, you know who he is in the ways that matter.”
I do know who he is. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. The good and the bad. I’m not sure what that says about me, and honestly, I don’t think I have it in me to continue to wrestle with it. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” Aislin smiles. “We’ll have fun tonight. I promise.”
I nod, stuck in this place between belief and disbelief.
Aislin and I grab our forks and dig into our food. I’m surprised I have an appetite. We’re just finishing rinsing our plates and putting them in the dishwasher when I hear footsteps coming down the hallway.