Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 104802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
He gives me a small chuckle, then sobers. “I don’t want you to do it all for me. I want you to know I would make sacrifices for you too.”
“Do you think I don’t know that? Because I do. Jesus, Cillian. There’s no doubt in my mind that I could ask you to do anything for me and you would. But I don’t want you to do this unless it’s truly what you want.” And we both know it’s not.
“Your father—”
“Isn’t in a relationship with you.”
“What if you lose him because of me?”
“I never would. He would never do that.” I walk over to him, wrap my arms around his waist. “Can we make more decisions together, please? Can we talk about them?”
“What if they’re things you don’t want to hear about? You told me you don’t want to know what I do, but then you’re coming up with ideas to more efficiently launder money.”
I grin. “It was kind of fun.”
“Who needs to be serious now?”
I nod. He’s right. “I don’t have all the answers. I can see I’ve been a little confusing in how I’ve responded to things. All I know is I’m figuring this out as we go along. We’ll both have to. We’ll both make mistakes, and we’ll change our minds about things. We just have to be in it together. Are you in it with me?”
Cillian wraps his arms around me too, drops his forehead against mine. “I feel like I should be the one asking you that, but yes, I’m in everything with you. There’s nowhere I wouldn’t follow you. There’s no going back for me.”
“There’s no going back for me either.” We have that in common, and in some ways, it’s the same as my parents were when it came to each other, the same way Cillian’s were as well. “Rian and Moira made it work, and we will too.”
“I like the sound of that.” He presses his lips to mine, so very sweetly.
The frustration and worry from earlier melt away, turning to desire…to need. I clutch at Cillian’s shirt, fist it in my hands, just touching him somehow steadying me. “Show me. Show me I’m yours. Show me how much you want me. I need it, Cillian. I need you to remind me we’re okay and always will be. Remind me I belong to you.”
“I need it too. Need you.” Cillian rips my shirt off, then does the same to his own. When he pulls me close again, this time he lifts me, my legs wrapping around his waist, and he carries me to the bed. He lies down on top of me, the two of us rutting together as our mouths battle and our tongues tangle together. My hands run up and down his back, nails scratching as I go, and all it does is make him kiss me harder, thrust against me more.
“My dirty boy needs dick, doesn’t he?”
“Yes,” I admit. “Your dick.”
“Fuck, I need to be connected to you too.” He pulls off me and stands, and I immediately miss the contact.
Cillian frantically works us both out of our clothes and grabs the lube he’d used earlier to jerk off. I pull him to me, crawling backward so we can kiss while we move up on the bed. Once my head hits the pillows, I’m looking up at him, Cillian down at me with what I swear is awe.
“I’m not sure what I did to deserve you, but I’m going to fucking treasure you. I won’t make you regret it—not any of it. We’re going to have the best fucking life.”
“We will, and I’ll never regret it.” That’s not how love works for us. We’re too deep and in tune. From the start I felt a connection to him that never made sense, but the truth is, it doesn’t have to be explainable, it doesn’t have to follow the rules. It’s just us, and we’re true and pure and real.
We kiss again, his tongue invading my mouth in the most perfect way. My fingers tangle in the brown locks of his hair, Cillian working one slick finger into my hole. I arch toward him, spread my legs wider, need more, and he gives it to me, one quickly becoming two, then three.
I’m frantic with need for him, delirious in my want. “Just fuck me. I need your cock so bad. I’m dying for it, baby. Please just give it to me.” I don’t know what it is about begging for him, about telling him what I want without fear or embarrassment, that makes me feel so strong, that makes me feel powerful, confident, and proud, but it does, and I plan to hold on to that, to keep filling myself up with it, and I know it fills him up too.