Total pages in book: 152
Estimated words: 145155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
Abbie chokes on her coffee. “Manscaping,” she blurts out.
“Yes, please stop laughing. This is not funny.”
I want to laugh myself but instead I frown at Abbie, hinting for her to shut up. My ability to keep a straight face when I hear ridiculousness is an added benefit of my job.
“Last time we were together I noticed he’s like….” She whispers and leans in to the table, and we both lean in instinctively to listen. “You know, done some extreme grooming.”
Abbie narrows her eyes. “Did you ask him what that is about?”
“Yes, when I first noticed it, he seemed embarrassed and then said he did it as a surprise for me.”
“Do you think it was?”
“No, I don’t. And, get this, he’s shaved off his chest hair.”
“God.” I breathe and sit back. “I hate manscaping.”
“Why?” Abbie pulls a disgusted face. “There’s nothing worse than a hairy guy.”
“You’re kidding,” I snap.
“Don’t tell me you like hairy guys?” She pulls a disgusted face.
I smile. “I do actually.” I nod to accentuate my point. “I like the difference in their body to ours. We are soft. They are hard. We are smooth. They are rough. You know, the whole yin and yang thing. It’s the differences that turn me on.”
“Ugh, all of the guys I’m with manscape and if they don’t I comment that I want them hairless before I see them again.”
Bridget and I are both shocked, our eyes wide.
“You actually say that?”
“Yes, of course, wouldn’t you?”
We both shake our heads. “No, god, no.”
“Girls, have I taught you nothing. Ask for what you want. Men are stupid. They will do what we ask.”
Bridget scrunches her nose up in disgust at Abbie. “The guy I’m going out with is a lot of things. He may be an adulterer and a prick, but stupid isn’t one of them, and Tash is so damn picky.” They both turn their attention to me. “When was the last guy you were actually with?” Bridget glares at me.
“What’s with the Spanish inquisition?” I roll my eyes.
Abbie chimes in, “Yes, she’s right. Are you on the forty-hour man famine?”
I smile, “No one really gets me hot. All the guys I meet are just so…average.” I hunch my shoulders.
“Oh no.” Abbie scowls toward the counter.
“What?” I ask as I sip my coffee.
“It’s Tunnel Cunt.”
I can’t help it, I spit my coffee all over Bridget.
“Oh fuck, Tash, watch it.” She starts to wipe the coffee from her top as I am in a fit of giggles.
“Who in the hell is Tunnel Cunt?” Bridget laughs. “And how in hell did the poor girl get that god-awful name?”
“See that blonde at the counter?” We all lean in, “She’s an ex-stripper and she has her eyes on James.”
James is Abbie’s flatmate who she worships.
“How do you know she has a tunnel cunt? Actually, what is its definition?” Bridget and I are in fits of giggles.
“Shut up, you two.” Abbie scowls. “This isn’t funny.”
“How do you know she has the hots for James?”
“He told me.”
“Oh,” I answer as I nod.
“Does he like her?” Bridget asks as she continues to watch her.
“He said not, but I’m keeping my eyes on her just in case.”
We all nod. “Good idea,” I mutter. We all watch as TC, the new girl on our radar, passes our table.
“OK, anyway, where were we?”
“Oh, I know, and I don’t like to pick up someone random for the sake of it, you both know I’m not like that.”
Abbie shakes her head in disgust. “You’re missing out. One day you are going to be forty-five, married and bored as hell and you’ll look back to these years and think I wish I had slept with all those hunks that were hot for me when I had the chance, and my body was smoking hot. You know the well dries up and turns into cellulite.”
I smile at her. “It’s OK, Abbs, I’m pretty sure you’re fucking enough for the three of us.”
She scrunches up her napkin and throws it at me and we all giggle.
“OK, back to you, Bridget. I think we need to set a trap.” I smile as I call the waitress over to order more coffees.
“Ohh, I do like your wicked mind,” she purrs.
“Now let me think.” As I rub my chin.
The movie screen plays a rerun.
“Natasha, make love to me. I need this connection with you.” His lips linger over mine tenderly. “It won’t hurt as much this time, baby. It’s getting easier, isn’t it?” His open mouth runs down the length of my neck.
Buzz. “Natasha, your ten o’clock is here.”
I rein in my now-pounding heart. “OK, thanks, Marg.” I buzz her. What the hell. Christ, how can he still affect me this much after seven years apart? I drop my glasses and put my face into my hands on my desk. With my left hand I rub my face in disgust. I literally still have a physical effect from my memories of this man. Why can’t I stop thinking about him? My heart rate, my breathing. I’m wet for fuck’s sake. Good god! With disgust I head to the bathroom, shaking my head.