Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 116597 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 583(@200wpm)___ 466(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116597 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 583(@200wpm)___ 466(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
His eyes flicked up, a faint flush climbing his neck as he hit me with a smirk. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Good.” My heels clicked softly on the hardwood when I stopped in front of him. “Because tonight, I’m going to take you somewhere you can’t get on your own.”
His breath hitched, but he held my gaze. Brave boy.
“You’ve spent our lessons so far learning how to take control,” I said, tracing his jaw with my knuckles. “How to read a woman’s body. How to make her feel safe enough to relax and give herself over to you.” My nails grazed lightly along his skin. “But there’s another side to that coin. If you want to guide someone that way, you have to know what it feels like to be guided yourself.”
I let that settle before continuing.
“Think of how we played at The Manor as a warmup, and tonight is game day. If you want to be the kind of lover who wrecks a woman in the best way, you have to understand surrender. You have to know how to let go, to stop trying to perform and just… receive.” My lips curled in a slow smile. “Pegging flips the power.”
He swallowed when I said the word, when I called my plans for tonight into the light. But his eyes didn’t leave mine, and he didn’t protest.
His silent consent made my pussy throb. He trusted me. He really was ready to let go, to give me all the power.
It was so fucking hot to witness that surrender.
“It puts you in a position where your only job is to feel everything,” I continued. “And when you do that — when you drop the armor — you become dangerous in bed. You go from a proficient lover to an absolutely lethal one.”
It wasn’t lost on me how I was preaching about dropping control when it was the very thing I was desperate to hold onto. But that was precisely why I was a Domme.
And I had to admit it, even if only to myself.
Tonight was just as much about my needs as it was about his.
But God, if he only knew.
I was still shaking from that phone call — from hearing my father’s voice in the background, my mother’s clipped dismissal echoing in my head. It was like being seventeen again, screaming into the void, begging someone to take me seriously, to believe me.
I’d been numb the rest of the game, held together only by the gravity Maven could provide with her hand secure in mine, reminding me everything would be okay somehow.
I wasn’t sure.
So, when Carter gave me this tonight — when I asked him to hand me the reins and he didn’t question it, didn’t probe for me to talk when I didn’t want to, didn’t make me feel ridiculous for running from my past — it allowed me my first deep breath of the night.
He trusted me. He believed I knew what I needed.
He gave me the one thing my family never had: validation.
I wanted to tell myself this was just sex. Just control. Just the catharsis I craved.
But my heart knew better.
My heart was terrified, because the way I leaned into him, the way I trusted that he’d be there if I let go…
It felt a lot like falling.
I stepped behind him, nails skimming down his back, my voice dipping into his ear as I ignored the whisper of those terrifying truths and chose to focus on the gift he’d given me, instead. I didn’t want to think tonight. I just wanted to feel.
“This isn’t about making you less of a man,” I said. “It’s about rewriting what manhood means for you. It’s about trusting someone enough to let them push past your boundaries with only your pleasure in mind.”
I moved back to face him, drinking in his flushed cheeks, the tension buzzing off him.
“You’ve always been afraid of being a joke. Of not knowing what to do. But this…” I gestured between us. “This is you learning. This is you building confidence in a place where you’ve always second-guessed yourself.”
His breathing was heavier now, but his gaze never wavered.
“You want to lead in bed one day? To make a woman feel safe enough to hand herself over to you completely?”
“Yes,” he said, low and certain.
“Then you need to know what it’s like to be led. To feel good direction. To be so present in your body that the rest of the world disappears. To understand consent. Attunement. Aftercare.” I tilted my head, letting my gaze drag over him slowly. “You want to be a menace in bed? Learn what it’s like to be on the other side of yes.”
I crouched until we were eye to eye, resting my hands lightly on his thighs.
“I realize this kind of trust isn’t easy, the kind that requires you to let me see you at your most vulnerable and believe I’ll still be here when it’s over.”